Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 90290 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 451(@200wpm)___ 361(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90290 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 451(@200wpm)___ 361(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Sex sounds much better. “Babe, I’m not going anywhere if you’re still in Portland.”
“I know, but maybe I’m not staying in Portland if you’re not there.”
“Are you saying you’d quit?”
Peyton takes my hand and drags me to our home office. “I’m saying that maybe after the baby is born, whenever that may be, I dabble in sideline reporting. It’s what I wanted to do and what I went to school for.”
“Ah, you just want to interview me after the game.”
“Noah, not everything is about you.”
I waggle my eyebrows at her. “You’re right.” I pull her to me and place my hand on her stomach where our baby will grow someday. “It’s about this.”
9
PEYTON
Finally, it’s egg day. That’s what I’ve called it on the calendar, circled in orange. I know most people circle important dates in red, but to me red means something a little more drastic, like danger or stop. I look over my calendar at the array of colors. Yellow indicates the days Noah and I tried conceiving according to the ovulation chart. Sex was a chore then. It wasn’t passionate or filled with the love we have for one another. It was two people having sex with a purpose. Granted, the purpose was a child we desperately want, but I missed connecting with my husband. Purple is for our sexy time and ever since we decided IVF was our next step, I’ve happily marked a lot of days with some purple ink.
I stand on the patio, taking in the very early morning breeze. We have an hour drive to L.A. this morning, although it shouldn’t take us that long with no traffic. It’s too dark to see the ocean but I can hear the waves. The tide is in, pushing onto shore. In about thirty minutes, surfers will be out there, catching waves while the sun rises over the horizon. I love my time in California. But I miss Beaumont. I miss the comfort a small town brings. The feel of being in a tight-knit community. I never thought I’d miss it as much as I do, and I think most of those feelings stem from Elle and Ben moving back there. They kept their house here and are only here for their IVF sessions. Then they’ll go back, and Noah and I will eventually head to Portland.
I’m not sure how I feel about raising our baby in a city like Portland. While I love the outskirts, the traffic is just as bad as it is here, but it seems people have stopped caring about their city. Although, raising our child there gives me a support group of other mommies, as long as their husbands don’t get traded.
I groan at the thought, hating that Noah’s in limbo with the Pioneers. Their stalling has put me in a precarious situation. Not only with them, but Noah as well. While I’d like to think I’d keep my job, I don’t know if I would. Noah will support me in anything I do, and I mentioned sideline reporting, but I also wonder if staying home once I have a baby should be my thing. I don’t have to work, thanks to my dad and husband, and if I really wanted to, I could probably work for myself. Enough of Noah’s friends ask me for advice anyway. Maybe I can turn what I do into a freelance job.
Noah comes up behind me and wraps me in his arms. We sway slightly and then he kisses the top of my head. “Are you ready?”
“I am.”
“Let’s go do this,” he says as he takes my hand and leads me toward the front door.
The entire drive into the city, he holds my hand. As much as he does it for me, I know he’s doing it for himself as well. This process has been daunting but I know it’ll be rewarding.
Noah and I walk hand-in-hand to the clinic. I’m tired and didn’t sleep well last night. Once the anesthesiologist called to confirm my appointment time all I could do was pace. Noah begged me to come to bed with him so he could hold me. I know he wanted the comfort as much as I did. After a few hours, I relented but stared at the wall imagining how everything could go wrong.
Even now, as I sit and wait for my name to be called, I think the worse. What if Noah’s out of sperm or this process didn’t work? What if his sperm are shy and don’t want anything to do with my eggs? That’s possible, right?
Noah gives me a kiss before he follows the nurse to the porno room. Today, his donation will be used to help make our embryos. The door opens and I look over my shoulder at my reflection. My sister comes toward me, her arms outstretched. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to see her until now.