Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 88279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Shock makes me flinch. “What?”
“No. We’re not playing that game. We shouldn’t be playing any fucking game.” He lifts me off him and is already moving before I land on the mattress, climbing to his feet and stalking into the bathroom. The door slams behind him and the shower turns on a few seconds later.
I feel like he turned my world upside and then gave it a shake for good measure. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. “Did he do it on purpose to hurt me?” I don’t really expect an answer. Gaeton may have been the touchy-feely type, but Beast never was. It’s part of what I loved about him, that he had depths I knew I could spend years swimming through and never reach the bottom. Beast is a mystery in so many ways; a year apart has only increased the mysteries he keeps from me.
He touches my chin exactly where Gaeton did, guiding me to look at him. For once, he’s not an icy wall. He’s furious and … hurt? Beast drops his hand. “Time might heal all wounds, but it doesn’t mean a damn thing when the specter from your past comes bursting through all the progress you’ve made. What do you want from him, Isabelle?” He inhales slowly, and I can actually see him tucking away his anger. “He agreed to this, but he doesn’t like it. Cut him some fucking slack.”
Finally.
Finally, I have something to cling to beyond confusion and what little pride I have left. I embrace the anger that rises within me wholeheartedly. “I didn’t set the terms for this, either. You did. You both demand honesty and then make me pay for giving it to you. Don’t act like I came back into your lives because I wanted to play with your cocks and your hearts at the same time. That was your decision.”
“Yes, it was.” He moves off the bed and stands. “Which is why I’m taking responsibility for it.”
“That’s a first.” Why can’t I stop talking? It’s never been a problem before, but I feel like these men have ripped me open and stripped me of everything I thought I knew. Even when I was cursing their names last night, I enjoyed every moment. Even when Beast put me on display for a stranger and humiliated me with his words, I soaked up that feeling like a love-starved creature. And this morning? I still haven’t processed what we did this morning.
It didn’t feel the same as last night. When Beast began moving at my back, both of us still mostly asleep … When Gaeton slipped down the bed and started sucking Beast’s cock … When he licked my clit while Beast fucked me … None of that felt like a carefully directed scene. It just felt like us.
I don’t know what that means. I’m not sure it means anything at all.
I glare up at Beast, hating how tormented I feel. “Is the purpose of this to punish me for being a dirty little slut or some kind of temptress that entangled you in my web of seduction? That’s what you both think, isn’t it? That I’m the sole responsible party for how things went so wrong.” I am responsible for so much of it, but it’s not like I tied them up and forced them to agree to anything. They pursued me for months before I admitted I couldn’t pick one of them over the other, and they told me that I didn’t have to. My only sin is loving them both and refusing to choose. They are the ones who decided that dating me at the same time was a good idea, but everyone conveniently forgets that when we talk about the past.
Beast looks at me long enough that I have to fight not to squirm. “Are you done throwing your fit?”
“My fit? I’m not a child and I’m not throwing a fit, you asshole.” I cover my face in my hands and fight down a shriek of frustration. I barely manage it. “Go talk to Gaeton, please. That’s what you were going to do. There’s nothing left to say here.”
“Wrong, Isabelle.” Every time he says my name instead of princess, it feels like another nail in the coffin of our past relationship. Another reminder of how lengthy the distance between us is.
I drop my hands and, to my horror, my throat feels tight. “Is it wrong, Samson? Is it really?”
He jerks back as if I’ve struck him with the use of his real name. The one he shared with me the first time he told me he loved me. The one he gave up at the same time that he gave up hope that his past lover was alive. He’s been Beast for as long as he’s been in Carver City, and his given name was one of the few secrets Beast ever divulged to me.