Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 77415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Both of which were not going to happen.
Firstly, I had to work to support myself. Not to mention that my brother would come searching for me in a few days, and I’d have to explain to him exactly why it was that I was depressed in the first place.
And if my brother knew that Jessie James, my high school love, was in the same motorcycle club as him, I wouldn’t like what would happen afterward.
I’d heard, as we made our way to the football game, that they were going to watch the son of a prospect play. A prospect being a guy who was not yet a member of the club but wanted to be and was working to do just that. Kind of like a biker apprenticeship of sorts.
If Tommy knew that Jessie was trying to ‘patch in,’ as he called it, then shit would go down, and I’d feel terrible all over again.
I was so lost in my thoughts as I went to the bathroom and then washed my hands, that I didn’t even notice that I was done and heading out the door again—the wrong way—until I was locked out and had nowhere to go but through the darkness toward the lights that I could see along the back of the bathrooms.
“What are you doing here?”
The harshness of the voice in the shadows had me halting, and I turned to look at the darkness, knowing that Jessie was the owner of that dark, husky voice.
“I’m here because my boyfriend and my brother are here,” I managed to squeak out. “I didn’t know you were here, too, or I wouldn’t have come.”
Silence.
“Good to know.”
Jessie emerged from the shadows, and I had to fight the urge to throw myself into his arms.
“Keep it that way.”
Then he was gone, and I was left wondering what in the hell had happened to the sweet man who had been there for me when I needed him the most.
***
“It’s nice,” I lied.
It was nice, but it wasn’t my cup of tea. I liked city living. I liked being only a few short minutes away from the shopping mall or the grocery store.
What I didn’t like were the thirty minutes it took to get out here and the way Sean was watching me with intense eyes.
“You think you could live out here?”
I paused. “Ummm,” I hesitated. “Yeah, I guess. I mean I suppose, if I had no other choice. Why?”
He looked at me like I’d just broken his heart.
“No reason.” He cleared his throat and turned away. “You ready?”
I nodded thankfully as I climbed on the back of the bike after him.
The entire way to my house, I questioned what I was about to do.
But I knew that I had to do it. I knew that I couldn’t let this go on anymore without saying what was on my mind.
The moment we parked outside of the house where I was staying, I dismounted, my heart in my throat.
“What’s wrong?”
Sean’s worried words brought my eyes up to his, and I knew he read what I was about to say before I said it.
“Ellen…”
I held up my hand. “I can’t do this. You’re a great guy. You’re sweet, nice and funny. You’re going to make some woman a great husband one day, but that woman will not be me. I can’t do this anymore.”
Sean’s hand came up to cup my face, but I stepped away.
“No.”
He looked at me as if I’d burned him.
My eyes closed.
“It’s not you, it’s me,” I whispered.
He laughed darkly. “Words that no man ever wants to hear, but oddly enough, I’ve heard that before.”
My eyelids slid open, and I stared at the man who was obviously upset in front of me.
“I’m sorry.”
The words were barely a whisper.
But I knew. The moment that I saw him, Jessie, I knew that I couldn’t do this with Sean anymore. It only took one single eye lock between Jessie and I to realize that what Sean and I had wasn’t enough.
It’d been years since I’d last seen Jessie, and I knew, almost immediately, that what Sean and I had wasn’t working. This relationship wasn’t what I wanted or hoped it would be, and it wasn’t what I needed.
I wasn’t saying that Jessie was what I needed, but I couldn’t be with a man who I didn’t feel strongly about.
“Is there someone else?” he asked.
So, he had noticed my glances, even though I’d tried to hide them.
I opened my mouth to reply, but he held up his hand. He deserved to hear the truth, and he deserved to know exactly why I was ending things between us.
“Don’t answer that.”
I snapped my mouth shut and nodded once.
Sean lifted his arm and ran his hand through his hair.
“I’ll see you around some time.”
He shot me a pained look.
“Yeah,” he grunted. “We’ll see about that.”