Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86574 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86574 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
I exhaled the breath I’d been holding. “Okay…wow. You played football?”
“I was on track for a career in the NFL. Our team’s record was twenty and six. But…everything ended one day when I crashed my car.”
My stomach felt sick. Oh no. Instinctively, I reached my hand to his arm.
He looked down at it and continued. “I hit an oncoming vehicle on a foggy night. I was lucky to survive, but my leg was crushed, and my professional football days were over.”
I felt his pain intensely. “I’m so sorry. How long ago was this?”
“A little over nine years. I was twenty, a sophomore in college. My whole life had been about the dreams my father had for me, the same dreams I had for myself. From a very young age, everything had revolved around football.” He stared off. “After the accident, I didn’t know who I was anymore.”
Those words resonated so strongly with me. Hearing them come out of Deacon’s mouth felt surreal. “I understand that to my core.”
He looked into my eyes again. “I know you do. That’s why I just awkwardly interrupted our lighthearted dinner to unload my baggage.”
“I’m so glad you did. Tell me more about what happened.”
He let out a long breath. “My father and I… Our relationship never really recovered. We didn’t know how to relate to each other without football. I felt useless for a long time. Eventually, my younger brother replaced me in my father’s eyes—became the new hope. While Alex never made it to the NFL, for several years my father chose to focus on him, anything to forget the disappointment I was.”
That hurt my heart. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Deacon frowned. “Well, actually, it was. The night of the accident, I was focused on my navigation app when the car crashed into us. Yes, there was fog, but it was very much my fault for not being more alert.”
“Were you alone?”
“No. That’s the worst part.” He swallowed. “My girlfriend at the time was with me.”
I braced myself. “Was she hurt?”
He hesitated. I knew this had to bring back painful memories for him.
“She wasn’t severely injured, no. But…” His words trailed off, and he paused. For a moment I thought he might elaborate, but then he simply said, “Things were never the same after that day.”
“Were the people in the other car injured?”
He closed his eyes briefly. “No.”
I nodded, relieved. “Sorry for all the questions.”
“No. It’s good for me to talk about it. Normally I just keep that part of my life bottled up.”
“So…what did you do to get back on your feet after that?”
“Well, you know how you ended up still working for the ballet after your accident? You kept a foot in the world you loved? It was the opposite for me. I wanted nothing to do with football if I couldn’t play. Being around my football buddies, my father and his players, it depressed me. So I transferred to a different college in California, away from everyone, and threw myself into school.”
“Did you ever move back to the Midwest after that?”
“No. I’ve felt very disconnected from my family ever since. I’m closer to my mother and grandmother, but it’s been difficult being around my father and brother. I love them, but my relationship with everyone changed after the accident.”
“Is it just the one brother you have?”
“Yeah. Alex is two years younger than me. Do you have siblings?”
“I have one brother, too.” I took a deep breath, still processing everything he’d told me. “Wow. Here I was thinking I didn’t know anyone who could relate to my situation. You’ve been right next door all this time.”
His eyes met mine. “Crazy, isn’t it?”
CHAPTER 7
Deacon
THE BLACK SWAN
It felt good to let it all out.
I’d wanted to tell Carys about my background for a while, but the timing was never right. When she invited me over for dinner, part of the reason I accepted was because I figured I’d have an opportunity to finally explain.
“From the moment you told me about your accident,” I said, “I’ve felt very connected to you, like maybe I was meant to meet you, because of our shared experience.”
I immediately regretted those words. Too intense. They were the truth, but I didn’t want her to take them the wrong way. Meant to meet you.
I corrected, “I don’t mean to sound—”
“Misery loves company. I get it.” She smiled. “I’m really happy you told me.”
She placed her delicate hand on my arm. I wished she wouldn’t touch me, because my body reacted every time she did. I had no business feeling that way about Carys. My attraction to her made things uncomfortable. She was the first woman since probably high school who I truly considered a friend. And the whole friendship thing would be a heck of a lot less complicated if I didn’t constantly imagine what her ballerina body would feel like under mine.