Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86706 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 434(@200wpm)___ 347(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“The Richard VanRyan I first knew. The man I despised. The one I thought had changed. You’ve come back.”
I snorted, her words somehow burning me. “I never left, sweetheart. You refused to see that part of me.”
Pain lanced across her face, and she wrapped her arms around her torso, hugging herself. She studied me, her expression so filled with torment, I wanted to squirm.
“Okay, Richard. I’m going to give you what you want. You want to be alone? You want quiet? You want to concentrate on yourself? It’s yours.”
She turned and headed to the door.
“That’s right, Katy. Walk away. Run. It’s what you do best, isn’t it?” I sneered, unable to stop the words, even as I hated myself for saying them.
She stopped, her hand on the door. She looked over her shoulder, tears glimmering in her eyes. “I’m not running, Richard. I’m giving you what you think you want, even though it’s killing me.”
My chest ached at the sight of her tears. My heart screamed at me to stop her. To hold out my arms and beg her for forgiveness and tell her what I really wanted to say.
To tell her how terrified I felt.
To confess that I worried if I had to stay in the chair, her life would be miserable, and she would eventually leave me.
To tell her how diminished I felt as a man and a husband. To utter the word failure out loud.
I stayed quiet.
She turned the handle and walked out, pulling the door closed behind her.
I let her leave, my anger overriding all my other senses.
Ten minutes later, I heard the front door shut, and the sound of her car leaving faded away.
Silence filled the house. I got what I wanted.
A sense of loss filled my chest, and I hung my head.
What had I done?
15
Katy
I pulled up in front of Graham and Laura’s house and turned off the engine. I glanced in the rearview mirror, not surprised to see Heather and Gracie asleep. After getting Gracie a treat of her favorite donut, and a cup of coffee for me, I had driven aimlessly for almost an hour, trying to collect my thoughts and calm down.
Richard’s words ran through my head on an endless repeat. His actions frightened me. His impatience with our children. His cutting remarks. The way he sneered my name.
I wasn’t lying when I said it was as if the old Richard had been resurrected in front of my eyes. The tone of his voice had been icy and uncaring—the same way he used to speak to me before he changed.
Or had he changed? Was he right, and I had refused to see?
I rested my head against my hands that clutched the steering wheel.
No. Richard was hurting. Scared. He fell back on his old habits and lashed out.
However, I wouldn’t allow him to take out his temper on our girls. I could handle it, but they were too young to understand. It had taken me the first fifteen minutes in the car to convince Gracie that Daddy was okay and having a bad day, and she had done nothing wrong. She loved him so much and was confused. He had never talked to her the way he had earlier. And I wouldn’t allow him to do so again. I had been certain his indifference would cease and he would go back to being the loving father he had always been with them.
I had been wrong.
I started at the tap on my window, and I opened the door, stepping out of the car and shutting the door quietly behind me. Laura drew me into her arms. The feel of her comforting maternal hug was too much, and I began to sob. She stroked my back in long passes, making hushing noises.
“Come with me, Katy.”
“The-the girls,” I hiccupped.
Graham appeared beside Laura and patted my arm. “I’ve got them. Jenna is on her way, and we’re going to spend some time with them. Go with Laura, and I’ll be along shortly. I think we need to talk.”
I let Laura lead me away, knowing Gracie and Heather were in good hands. For all intents and purposes, Graham was a grandfather to the girls. Jenna was one of Gracie’s favorite people, so they would be well cared for. I didn’t want them to see me like this, so it was for the best.
I sipped the tea Laura brought us, the soothing scent of bergamot filling my head. She pushed a plate of toast my way, urging me to eat.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You need to eat and be strong for the girls.” She paused. “And for yourself—and Richard.”
My cup shook in my hand at the mention of his name.
“I left him alone in the house.”
“He’s a grown man. I’m sure he can fend for himself.”