Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 95816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 479(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 479(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
“I know.”
“Yet, you asked the question. You doubted me.”
“It was a stupid impulse. When I heard her mother’s name, I already knew. I just—”
“You wanted confirmation, is that it?” I snapped.
“I—” She stopped talking and shook her head. “I was in shock. I wanted… I needed—”
I cut her off. “You needed validation of my integrity. After all these years, you actually questioned it.”
Tears were streaming down her face when she turned and walked away from me. I sat down heavily, wanting to follow her, but knowing I needed to give her some space. To give myself some space.
I raked my hands through my hair, yanking on the ends, the pain in my skull welcome.
I had been a bastard. I had treated Katy terribly. I had been shocked when she was able to get past all of that and marry me. To discover the man I was now and bring him out of the shadows and love him. She had taught me love.
I hung my head. I was still a bastard. I should never have said those things to her.
I rested my head in my hands, unsure what to do. I kept making things worse.
Maybe I needed to stay put and avoid people for the next while. I lifted my head, staring at the water. Maybe I should go into Toronto. Invent another meeting and give myself a chance to calm down and figure things out.
I turned my head toward the houses, my gaze seeking out just one. The place I shared with Katy. Our home. The truth was, I didn’t want to leave her and go anywhere, but she might prefer it. I had to ask her.
But the coward I was, I stayed on the beach and looked at the water, too afraid of her answer.
12
RICHARD
I walked the beach for over an hour, constantly pacing, trying to sort out my thoughts. Trying to remember more. I had blocked so much of my life from that time out of my head. I didn’t like the person I was then. I had been an empty shell of a man. That all changed when I fell in love with Katy.
Finally, exhausted, I sat on the rocks, staring at the water, hoping to find the peace in the waves that seemed to help my wife.
Maddox found me a short while later and sat across from me.
“What are you doing, Richard?”
“Hiding,” I stated honestly.
“From?”
“My life. My thoughts. Katy.”
“How’s that working for you?”
I met his calm, concerned gaze. “Not so well.”
“You know, you once gave me some good advice. You told me to trust the people I love and be honest. You said Aiden and Bentley would stand beside me and not desert me the way I feared they would. You were right. I was honest, and they were right there, supporting me. Loving me despite my fuckups.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Isn’t it, though? My past was threatening to destroy the world I’d created. Shatter the future I was building.”
I sighed. He was right.
“Katy has always been forgiving,” I said. “She has the best heart I know. But this is a lot.”
“More than the way you treated her? Like Reid said, Richard, it’s a child—a grown one—but still a child of yours. Knowing Katy the way I do, I would say she’d love her once she gets to know her.”
I sighed and told him about our fight. What I had said—my overreaction and angry words. He was silent for a few moments.
“It’s hard for me to reconcile the man you are—the man I know you to be—with the man you were all those years ago,” he admitted. “You’ve told me stories, but it was as if you were talking about someone else.” He leaned forward. “Be honest, Richard. If you had known Juliet was pregnant, what would you have done?”
I blew out a long breath. “Probably nothing. Told her to get rid of it. Given her money.”
“So, you wouldn’t have been involved? You wouldn’t have married her?”
“No.”
“And if you’d found out after you married Katy?”
I mulled over his words. “I would have stepped in to help. Tried to build a relationship. Once Gracie was born, I changed. I mean, I changed before that, but when I held her, when I became a father, it opened something up inside me.”
“Do you really think Katy held back information?”
“No. I know what I was like, and she’s right. Even if the idea of pregnancy had entered the conversation, I would have scoffed at the notion and carried on. I would have decided it was Juliet’s problem, not mine. I wouldn’t have sought her out. And I also know how often Katy dealt with my exes. It was practically in her job description.” I hung my head. “Jesus, I was a bastard.”
Maddox didn’t say anything, and I lifted my head. “Tell me what to do, Mad Dog. I’m fucking grasping at air here.”