Total pages in book: 27
Estimated words: 24429 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 122(@200wpm)___ 98(@250wpm)___ 81(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 24429 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 122(@200wpm)___ 98(@250wpm)___ 81(@300wpm)
“This is not you, Kat. Try to remember who you are. Stop reacting and start feeling. Now, stop it, right now.”
His voice was a low rumble behind me, infused with restrained power. In the midst of my anger, a fierce ember was lit in my belly. My eyes danced all over the thick, flexing muscle in Jesse’s arms as he held my hands behind my back.
The subtle movements of his lips, his jaw, the blink of his dark eyes, the glint of his straight white teeth. He gave the smallest of grimaces as he held a crazed badger, fighting against the very person who was trying to save her.
“Fucking let me go you fucking asshole jarhead! What do you care anyway, Jesse? Kent’s dead and I'm not your problem! You're not my brother!” I hurled my words like poison daggers because my voice was all I had.
I knew I was hurting him and I didn’t care. I could never have him the way I wanted, so it was better if I just got out of here and never looked back. When I was fourteen, and it was just Kent, Jesse and me, we all made a pact. We lived together like brothers and sisters, and we swore to always be family.
Now I was using that against him. Denying that bond because I couldn't dare to let him in.
Because if I let Jesse into my heart, I was setting myself up to have that heart broken. There was no way he would ever want me the way I wanted him.
His voice was a deep rumble. “I’m the only family you have, little girl. I'm sorry. I wish it was different, but it isn't. You and me, we're it.”
I was almost out of breath from the fight and the way he was holding me pinned, bent in half, pulling my hands up behind my back. Trouble was, being in this position, so helpless and at his mercy, only made me think of other things. Things a sister should never imagine doing with her brother.
And sure, we weren't actually family. We weren't even step-siblings. Not really. But he had always been there, and the way I felt about him was wrong.
I could see him in the mirror, his eyes aflame and the tendons in his neck standing out like coils of steel cable. If I were another guy, he would have knocked me out and left me laying in my own drool. Why was he spending so much effort on me? I had not done anything in the last few years to earn his protection or his loyalty.
“Kent never trusted you, Jesse. Not after what you did… What we did. He said he hated you for it.”
A silence like a nuclear explosion filled the room and my heart seized for a moment. I had crossed a line. There were things in the past that should stay there, never to be unearthed again.
But the words were out, like fifty lashes with a wire whip, and Jesse’s eyes told me just how he felt.
It was something we promised we would put away and never talk about again. For me to throw it into Jesse’s face now was about the lowest I could go. The flames in his eyes quickly turned and as I opened my mouth to say something, to fix the damage I’d done yet again, he spun me around and flipped me over his lap, face down and ass up.
This position was easier to assume this time but even as he tore off the bottoms of my pajamas, I kicked and fought.
I was no match for him.
“I'm... Sorry. I didn't mean that. Jesse...”
The force of his grip on the back of my neck reminded me that he was a trained killer. With just a flick of his wrist, I could fall into the great abyss.
“Stop trying to make me hate you, Kat. It won’t work.” He spoke deliberately and clearly as he worked my ruffled underpants down and tore them off my ankles, leaving me bare-bottomed once again over his knee.
This time, I knew what was coming, and somewhere deep down, I knew I deserved it. I think I almost welcomed it. And when the first smack came, my entire body was enveloped, not only in the pain of the blow, but in an explosion of heat and relief, like a breath held far too long and finally released.
Jesse’s hand came down harder than the first time, the impact driving the air from my lungs as I gripped his legs to keep from falling. The red searing whacks rang in my ears, sending bolts of ravenous pain down the backs of my legs. I could hear my own voice, screaming and crying, but it was detached somehow. It was like I was feeling the pain and witnessing the moment, but through the eyes of a different girl.