Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
I wanted to tear the car door away and kiss her on the lips as tenderly as I’m capable of, kiss her, and tell her that she never has to be worried.
There aren’t demons out here.
Or if there are, I’m going to tear them to pieces.
For her.
I return inside, sighing heavily, darkness gripping me and squeezing me tightly. My chest is hammering, and I’ve got no idea how I’m going to focus on my next appointment.
It’s been difficult to focus ever since we arranged this meeting, from walking Speeder this morning, to tatting my first appointment.
But now I’ve laid eyes on my woman, physically seen her, I don’t know how I’m going to see anything except for her.
I’m sorry, she texts, about a minute before I need to go and invite my next client in. I don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorry. I just freaked and felt like I was going to have a panic attack.
My mind splits down the middle, thinking of my woman in so much pain without me there to help her.
When I call her, she rejects it immediately.
I’m sorry. I just need to drive home. I’m okay. I know you have to focus on your work.
Screw my work. I need to make sure you’re not losing your mind.
I promise I’m fine. Thank you.
Let me know if I can do anything to help. I send the text feeling powerless in the worst way.
I’m supposed to keep my woman safe from the darkness in the world. I should be able to guide her to security, so she never has to worry about the demons, as her dad called them, crushing her.
Soon, it’s time to work, meaning I must somehow blot Mia from my mind.
It’s like trying to stop myself from breathing, my thoughts returning to the moment I saw her in the car, my woman in the flesh, with her hair spilling around her face, framing her wide eyes, her mouth hanging open slightly as if she was waiting for a kiss.
Or she could see the fire in me, infusing each movement with potential.
Was I part of what scared her?
At that moment, as I surged toward the car, did she see me as a demon?
A few hours after she speeds away, I text Mia, asking if she’s okay.
There’s no response which leaves me to drive home once my last client has left.
With the sun now setting, I feel like a jackass, like I’ve lost something even if we were never together.
Maybe she’s working out how best to tell me to stop.
“Surely there’s something she wants from this,” I tell Speeder as I attach his leash once back in the apartment. “Why would she keep texting me if she didn’t want anything? And what we shared….”
I’m not going to go into detail with my faithful dog about all the steamy things my woman and I shared yesterday.
But the aftershocks are still pounding through me.
I walk Speeder through the nearby park, my gaze moving to a father and mother, the mother pushing their baby in a stroller.
I’ve long since stopped myself from filling with longing when I see scenes like that, accepting that family life will never be for me.
I couldn’t imagine the woman I’d share so much joy and happiness with….
But that was before Mia.
Now, as I watch them, I can’t help but imagine Mia in the woman’s place leaning over our child, softly brushing something from our baby’s face.
I see myself standing next to her, smiling with joy at my wife, unable to believe just how lucky I am and how perfect life has become…
When I return to my apartment, I check my phone.
She’s texted back.
I almost laugh at the response this triggers in me, the pulsing inside of me, the need to see her words.
“Is this what teenagers feel like?” I ask Speeder as he hunkers down with his treat.
Or maybe it’s just what falling for somebody feels like, the feeling I’ve spent so long anticipating but never truly believed would be mine.
I’m sorry. I’ve been working, she texts. And thinking.
Don’t play the tease with me, I reply. Thinking about what?
You don’t like it when I tease you?
She attaches a winking emoji.
I grin, which adds to this whole thing's surreal nature.
I’m sitting on my couch as Speeder munches on his treat, grinning at the emoji. Before Mia, that would’ve seemed impossible.
That’s becoming one of my favorite phrases.
Or most common.
Before Mia….
Before everything changed.
You know I do, I text. But that means not driving away when I come to say hello.
It’s so difficult to explain. But, honestly, you should just run now before the crazy rubs off on you.
I’m not running anywhere.
Why?
It’s not the first time she’s asked that, and it’s difficult not to respond, not to tell her honestly everything I felt when I first laid eyes on her photo. When I first saw my woman with her wide innocent eyes and her ready-to-be-kissed lips.