Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 58211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
“Yes.” Asher swallows audibly. “I meant it.”
“How?” Dan demands.
He’s in fully fledged CEO mode.
“Well,” Dan goes on. “I’m trying to understand how this can be possible. You only came home a couple of weeks ago. Or am I supposed to assume this started before you came home?”
“It started when I moved in here,” Asher says. “Then, when we got each other for the Secret Santa, it got out of hand.”
“Meaning, you regret it?”
“No, Dan. I’m sorry, but I don’t regret it. I can’t regret feeling this way.”
“I always knew you had a crush on him,” Dan mutters, turning to me. “When we were kids, you were terrible at hiding it. It was the most obvious when he was teasing you. I knew Asher. I knew he was just messing around. But you, Holly, it was like your universe was falling down.”
“This isn’t just a crush,” I murmur. “Asher’s right. This is real, but we can be better. We can put you first.”
“If it’s real,” Dan says, sitting on the other side of the breakfast bar. He leans forward, poking the count, just like in a business meeting. “How could you let each other go? If that speech contained the truth, then surely you’re inseparable. That’s how it sounded.”
“We would be inseparable,” Asher says.
“If it weren’t for me?” Dan snaps.
“I don’t mean it like that.”
“But that’s true.”
“Yes,” Asher admits. “If she wasn’t your sister, nothing would stop me, but we can’t live in that world. We’re in this one, and I’m ready to face up to the consequences of my actions.”
Dan steeples his fingers. “Explain.”
“I’m going to resign,” Asher says. “I’m going to move out of the city. It’ll be tough at first, leaving everything.”
“Leaving Holly. You can say it.”
Asher sighs. “Yeah, leaving Holly. It won’t be easy. I’ve never felt like this before. You deserve the truth. No one has ever made me feel anything compared to this. Snowflake—Holly—”
“Why do you call her that?” Dan questions.
“She’s unique. She’s special. She’s crazy about Christmas. It fits.”
Dan’s lip twitches. Then he wipes the smile away, but I’m sure I saw it. I need to be careful. Hope is a dangerous thing.
“We agree on that,” Dan says. “You’re honestly telling me you’ve never felt like this before, even with your exes?”
“It’s not like there have been many, but no, nothing like this. One date with Holly made me feel more connected, content, and at peace than several months with Mia ever did. I thought my ability to form relationships was ruined before I met her. I’m sorry, Dan, truthfully. None of this is helping. I’ll cut the cord. I’ll disappear.”
“Can’t you stay and just break up?”
“No,” Asher says fiercely. “Seeing her every day, or even once in a while, with another man—”
“That won’t happen,” I cut in.
They both spin to me.
“What?” I hiss. “It won’t.”
The interrogation turns to me. “You’re saying you’ll be alone for the rest of your life if Asher leaves?” Dan says.
I shrug. “I was alone before he came home. I’ll be alone after. It’s not a big deal.”
“Isn’t it?”
“What do you want me to say?” I wave my hand, my voice breaking. “It’s a huge deal, Dan. You can’t see it on the video, but I was crying when he made that speech. I was crying because it moved me and also because I knew we could never act on it. Him, me, us, it would be a dream come true if it didn’t mean stabbing you in the back. But it did, over and over. I’m so sorry. That doesn’t even come close.”
“You’re sorry, but you kept going,” Dan says.
“For too long,” Asher agrees.
“He wanted to tell you,” I say. “I talked him out of it. I naïvely thought maybe we could pretend it never happened. There’s no pretending about this. But there could be healing. I hope.”
“For me,” Dan murmurs.
“Huh?”
“If Asher leaves, there will be healing for me, right?” Dan says. “Look at the two of you. You’ll be broken.”
“You can’t let that influence your decision,” Asher says. “This isn’t about us. This is about you.”
Dan massages the bridge of his eyebrows. “You’re both adults at the end of the day,” he says. “It was a shock last night. Weirdly, that video is the best thing that could’ve happened. When I watched it, I knew you weren’t thinking, Asher. You were speaking from the heart. No offense, but that’s rare for you. Even when we were kids, you clammed up or made a joke if things got serious.”
“It was probably a defense mechanism,” I mutter.
“It was that or face what was happening at home,” Asher says.
“Hearing you speak like that, you know what I thought? I want this for him. I want it to work out.”
“But?” Asher says.
“Who said there’s a ‘but’?”
“Come on, Dan. You were furious.”
“That was before the video. That was before I saw you two together.”