Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 80261 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80261 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
I couldn’t hold back, asking, “Momma, why do you deal with him?”
“Chase, you’re a little boy. You won’t understand adult problems.”
“Then make me understand. He’s always mean to you. None of friend’s dads treat their momma’s that way!”
“Sweetie, I hate him, Momma. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“Chase, we don’t have anywhere else to go. It’s just you and mean, little, just you and me.”
“But, Momma—”
She crouched down in front of my face. “Promise me you won’t ever be like him. You’ll always stay away from the club. You’ll never be part of it, Chase. Not ever.”
“Momma—”
She grabbed my shoulders. “Promise me!”
“I promise!”
Pulling me into her arms, she hugged me tight against her chest. She started crying, and it tore at my insides.
“I’m sorry, Chase. I’m so sorry I can’t be stronger for you. I wish I could right be you.”
“You are. You’re the best.”
“I’m not. If I was, I wouldn’t be putting you through this. I’m so sorry, Chase. Please forgive me. I love you so much.”
Tears began falling out my eyes; there was no controlling them.
“I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you. You’re my momma. I love you so much too.”
She rocked me in her arms, back and forth for I don’t know how long. I stayed there like that, trying to be the best little man I could for her. This wasn’t fair. I didn’t want this life. I just wanted her to be happy and not like this. I hated seeing her this way and it was happening all the time now.
“You’re my big, strong boy. I’m so thankful for you.”
“Please stop crying, Momma. Please…”
“You stay away from him, okay?”
“But he was hurting you again.”
“It’s not your problem, Chase. I need you promise me that you won’t ever intervene like that again.”
I pulled away, shaking my head. “No! I’ll never let him hurt you!”
“Chase, plea—”
“No!” I yelled, sitting straight up in bed, gasping for air.
It felt like the wind was knocked out of me, I was unable to catch my bearings fast enough. Sweat covered every inch of my body. My heart was pounding out of my chest.
“Fuck,” I rasped, throwing the drenched sheets off my body.
I looked over at the clock. It was four in the morning. There was no use trying to go back to sleep. It was ruined for me.
I made my way into the bathroom, wiping the sweat off my forehead and face, desperately wanting to calm myself down to no avail. My dreams were getting worse and more intense, as if I were there, reliving it all over again.
Shaking away the haze, I turned on the shower and left it on cold. It was the only thing that would calm me. The freeze would shock my system, bringing me back to reality.
I stayed there for what felt like forever, thinking about the past and the things I could never change.
No matter how much I wanted.
Hoped for.
Prayed.
It was always there, just waiting to take me under. These weren’t dreams, they were nightmares. The cold hard harsh truth was that they were simply memories…
Of my lost childhood.
Fourteen
Haven
“Hey there,” Hayes rasped from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist while I was in the stock room of the bar.
Since we began our real relationship or whatever you’d call it a couple weeks ago, he had been extra affectionate with me. Especially when we were alone. I never imagined he’d be as addicted to having his hands on me, but despite us just making out, it was enough for him.
Not so much for me.
I didn’t try pushing his limits.
Yet…
We spent a lot of time together in his office. He didn’t think I’d notice my tables were mostly women all of a sudden. It was obvious he had something to do with that. However, I didn’t care. They were still amazing tippers, and I was making a ton of money, so it was fine.
He kissed along the back of my neck, growling, “You always smell so fucking good.”
I giggled.
“You ready to go?”
I turned around in his arms. “Go? Where are we going? The bar opens soon.”
“You’re not working tonight.”
I narrowed my gaze at him. “I’m not?”
He grinned, grabbing my hand and led us out of the bar.
This was the first time we were going out in public together and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.
“Relax,” he coaxed, opening the passenger side door of his truck for me. “Your daddy isn’t going to see you out with me.”
I changed the subject, trying not to ruin the moment between us. “Who would’ve thought you’d be a gentleman and open my door.”
“Don’t push your luck, sweetheart. This is about as far as it goes for me.”
I threw my arms around his neck. “Says the man who is adamant on protecting me since day one. Are you going to drop me off at my front door this time?”