Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 103852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
But fuck that.
Fuck my sappy notions about her.
She went ahead and ruined us, so I’ll ruin her in return.
I shove all the way in, causing her eyes to shut and her pulse to quicken.
“Look at me.”
She slowly opens her lids, staring at me through hooded eyes.
“See this?” I thrust in her ass as I pound three rough fingers into her cunt.
She nods slowly, her face flushed with both pleasure and pain.
“Does your body welcome him as it welcomes me? Did you let his limp dick in your ass?”
Lia shakes her head.
“Hmm. So it was only the cunt? My fucking cunt?”
I drive harder into her, my groin slapping against her ass cheeks and my fingers powering into her pussy with renewed energy that leaves her panting. “Did you like it? Do you tighten around him as you tighten around me?”
“Noooo!” she screams as her orgasm rips through her, and her entire body bucks off the bed. I pump into her some more and then pull out and come all over her face, my cum dripping down her parted lips and chin.
It’s the first time I’ve done it, but it seemed fitting since she probably let him fucking come inside her.
I’m so paranoid that if Jeremy didn’t look like a younger version of me, I’d do a DNA test.
My beast takes complete control, and I feel like the hurt and anger will detonate me from the inside.
“Understand this, Lia. I might not hurt you, might not fucking kill you, even though you deserve it, but I’ll find that bastard, and when I do, I’ll fuck you in front of him before I slice his fucking throat. Then I’ll fuck you again in the pool of his blood.” I release her neck and she sucks in deep breaths, tears sliding down her cheeks. “Protect him while you can.”
36
Lia
I think I’m going insane.
In the beginning, I chalked it up to my nightmares getting the better of me. I was dreaming about memories of Mom and Dad in Sicily, and most of them were about being trapped in a box with no way out.
But then I started having those nightmares while I was awake. My mind broke my spirit, my soul, and my fucking heart.
I realized something was definitely wrong when Jeremy became scared of me. He called me a ghost and said he hates Ghost Mommy.
Adrian has his nanny working full-time now and he’s been distancing Jeremy from me like he always intended to. He’s been taking away my angel.
Since the night I broke whatever is between us, Adrian hates me. He doesn’t say it in words, but he proves it in actions more than enough. He hate-fucks me every night, in the pussy, then in the ass, and sometimes he’ll take me to the shower just to do it all over again. I loathe how much I like it, how much I tingle with anticipation for his rough handling and unapologetic owning. In a way, that’s the only time I’m forced to be alive, to snap out of my daytime nightmares and the demons lurking in my head.
But whenever he’s not touching me, the vicious circle resumes. I’m plagued by memories of the man I killed, the life I finished, the innocence I slaughtered.
I overestimated my mind and believed that I’d survive killing someone. I haven’t. Ever since that day, I’ve been going downhill with no way to stop the slide.
I always thought myself above Adrian’s lifestyle, but I’m as much of a killer as he is now. The notion that I’ll become just as soulless brings tears to my eyes.
I’m losing touch with reality and with Jeremy. It’s worse when I take my antidepressants. I turn into a zombie, too numb to move or talk or even think.
Adrian took me back to my shrink, the same one I used to see. I didn’t bother asking how he knew about her, because Adrian knows whatever he wants to.
Even though he waited outside while I had my visit, I couldn’t find the words to talk to her. Before, I used to tell her about my parents and the black box, about how ballet wrenched me out of that box. After my career ended, I was stuffed into it again, but only for a brief while until Jeremy came along. However, now that I’ve killed someone, the box’s walls are tightening around my soul.
How could I tell the shrink that? How could I tell her that I murdered a person to protect my killer husband who married me just to use me?
It’s been months since I told Adrian I was cheating on him. At that moment, when he didn’t deny that he’d gotten close to me because of who my father is, he hurt me so badly, it was like the tip of his sharp blade tore through my heart and the feelings I had for him. I should’ve expected it, considering he doesn’t know how to feel, but I thought after five years of being together, he would’ve somehow gotten used to me like I’ve gotten used to him. He could’ve built a place for me in his black heart, even if it’s not as big as the area he occupies in mine.