Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
“Hi”—the woman pushes Lauren aside—“I’m Kaleigh, her favorite sister,” she introduces herself.
“She’s my only sister, and she will be homeless in a second if she doesn’t get out of my way.” Lauren’s voice is angry.
I chuckle behind her. Lauren turns and points at me. “You, if I find out you helped him, it’s going to be on,” she hisses and leans in closer to me when she continues, “like Donkey Kong.” And then she walks away.
“What the fuck does she mean, like Donkey Kong?” I turn to Kaleigh, looking for an answer.
“Oh, I was on that list only once”—she leans in closer to me—“and I begged and cried to get off of it.” She looks at Austin then back at me. “It was like living in that movie The Shining, but worse.”
I feel my face pale at that little tidbit of information.
I point at Austin. “If I get it like Donkey Kong, I’m going to put the pictures of your swollen, abnormally large testicles on a billboard in Times Square,” I threaten him, while Kaleigh just watches us.
“Who the fuck is Jake?” Austin finally asks.
“Her ex. This should be fun,” Kaleigh claims, walking away from us.
“You took a picture of my nuts?” he asks when Lauren storms out.
I shake my head at him. “No, I took a burst of shots of your nuts.” Then I walk out, following Kaleigh. My dick leads the way to her. He hasn’t even met her yet he’s already on radar for her.
“What are you doing here?” I hear Lauren ask a guy who must be Jake.
While I take in the scene, I turn my head, catching one of the waiters passing around some canapés. I also grab champagne from another tray.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I hear Austin hiss at my side while he watches Lauren and her ex.
“I’m eating and drinking,” I say, showing him my full hands. “I mean, this is a party. You did bring me to a party.” I finish off the food. “You should try those mushroom things. They are really good,” I say, finishing off the champagne and signaling the waiter for more. I grab another glass. “Did the ex leave?” I ask Austin as I drain my second glass.
“Yeah, he came to get the kids and forgot it was the party. Guy looks like a douche,” Austin says.
Kaleigh informs Lauren that we are sitting at their table.
“They aren’t staying,” Lauren says before she turns around, heading inside.
“Oh, come now, Lauren. That would be rude,” Dede chides. “You can sit at our table.” She turns to Frank. “Let’s go sit down, honey.”
Once everyone is seated, I look around our table. It’s Kaleigh, Frank, Dede, Lauren, Austin, and Josh, who I found out is a doctor and bears a striking resemblance to Newman from Seinfeld.
He sits next to Lauren, standing up when she gets to the table and pushing her chair in. She looks over at him and smiles. I watch all this take place and then see the tic in Austin’s neck start to throb.
He grabs his glass of wine and downs it in one gulp. “Slow down there, slugger. We don’t want you flying off on one of those penis balloons,” I whisper in his ear while he glares at me.
“So,” Josh starts, looking at Lauren. “I hear congratulations are in order. You’re back in the work force now.” He continues in that annoyingly nasal voice of his, “How does this weekend sound?” He blushes and looks down at his hands. What a putz.
“Oh, um, she can’t do it this weekend,” Kaleigh answers for Lauren. “She’s having her bikini area waxed and styled,” she explains, nodding her head.
“What?” He looks confused.
“Well”—Kaleigh leans in and whispers—“it’s like the Amazon down there.”
I spit water from my mouth, almost fucking choking while their mother puts her hand to her mouth and Lauren throws her fork down on the plate, the clatter hushing the whispers at our table.
“Kaleigh,” she grates out, her jaw ticking.
“What?” she asks. “Was it a secret?” She shrugs. “So sorry.” She brings her glass of wine to her mouth in an attempt to hide her smirk.
My eyes shoot to each of them like I’m watching a tennis match.
“Dear,” Lauren’s mother questions, “are you okay? Is this procedure normal?” She gives her daughter a look filled with concern.
“Mom—” Lauren starts before she is cut off by her father.
“Lauren, it’s been a while since Jake left. Maybe if you”—he gestures with his hand in a circle and his finger sliding in and out—“you won’t be so stressed.”
She slams her hands on the table, the glasses clinking and rocking with the force of it. “I’m not having any hair removal procedures done, because it is not necessary. Can we please just—” This time, she is cut off by her mother.