Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 85277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Kaleigh is the first one to come out of the kitchen to greet me. The look on my face has her rushing back into the kitchen and returning with a full glass of wine. It sloshes over the rim as she hurries it to me.
She quickly hands it over with a smile. “Should I ask?”
I drink half the glass before I answer her. “He gave my computer a porn virus,” I say while I walk over to the couch and throw myself down on it.
She sits next to me. “What do you mean, a porn virus?”
“I mean that when I turned on my computer this morning, porn was just popping up on my computer.” Kaleigh starts to laugh, but I turn and glare at her. “Don’t you dare laugh! I was mortified. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the screen was freezing up, but the sound was blasting. Before I could even do anything, all of this moaning and groaning was blaring all through the office. ‘Oh, fuck me harder!’ Ugh!” I put my empty glass down after I drain it. My arms are flailing around me as I continue my story. “Oh, and let’s not forget the gay porn. Yeah, of course that’s when the screen froze, just as one of the guys had his dick halfway in the other guy’s ass!”
“Was it big?”
I look over at her incredulously. “What the hell does it matter?” I throw my hands up in the air. “And where are my kids?”
Her hand waves through the air. “At a playdate next door. You have soccer in an hour, so go get yourself changed. Unless you want to show up like that, make a statement.”
“Fucking porn all over my computer. I can’t believe he would do that.”
“You did put a laxative in his Coke.” I don’t let her finish before I point at her and hiss out, “You cannot tell anyone about that. You promised.”
She takes her fingers, zipping her lips closed. “Fine. Now, I’m going to go change and head to soccer where I’m hoping nothing else goes wrong.”
“What could top your co-workers thinking you are flicking the bean while at work? I hope you washed your hand after.”
“I didn’t flick the bean at fucking work, jackass! He played with my computer and the asshole threw out all my Post-its.”
Kaleigh shakes her head. “That asshat,” she agrees just as the door opens and the kids run in.
“Who’s an asshat, Auntie Kay?” Rachel asks while she climbs on my lap, rubbing her nose to mine. I grab her tiny face in my hand, kissing her on the nose. “Don’t say asshat.”
Gabe walks up to me, kissing me on the cheek. “Mom, we have to leave in thirty. Dad says he might make tonight’s game,” he says, jogging upstairs to change.
“Okay, change of plans, no changing for you,” Kaleigh says. “Show him what he’s missing.”
I’m almost feeling better when my phone bings with a notification.
I see that it’s a text from Austin.
Tomorrow when you come in, before you start with your porn surfing, I need you to pick up my dry cleaning. I’ll share the address with you. I need those shirts for the conference I’m having with the marketing firm tomorrow afternoon.
I don’t watch porn at work.
I beg to differ. Actually, JP begs to differ.
It’s times like these when I want to take my phone and run it over. Actually, I want to run him over. Front and back. Just for fun.
I don’t have a chance to answer, since Gabe runs down the stairs with his shoes slung over his shoulder, his chin pads on but not velcroed on the top. His uniform is almost on.
“We need to go if we are going to be there on time,” he urges, going to the fridge and taking a cheese stick and an apple from the counter.
I look at Kaleigh. “Are you coming?” I get up and grab another apple and a cheese stick for Rachel.
“I wouldn’t miss his game for the world,” Kaleigh says while grabbing her yoga mat. “I could do yoga while he plays.” Rachel comes into the room and claps her hands excitedly.
“I’m going to bring my mat, too, Auntie Kay. Can we do it doggie style?” I spew water all over the counter.
Kaleigh laughs at me and bends down, squatting in front of Rachel. “Downward facing dog, honey, not doggie style. That’s for when you get older.”
I slam the glass down in exasperation. “Kaleigh, I will not only make you drink cow’s milk, I’ll throw a burger at you.”
Rachel giggles. “Gabe, when we get older, we can do it doggie style!” she sing-songs while walking out of the door to go to the car.
I glare at Kaleigh, who is laughing so hard she’s hunched over in the corner, holding her stomach. “If she repeats that to Jake, I will kill you.” I point at her while I walk out of the door. She follows me to the car still laughing.