Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 85277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85277 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
“She’s crazy,” I say. “I hit her car this morning, and then she shows up in the office. I thought she was fucking stalking me.”
That just pushes him over the edge, and now he is laughing so hard the couch is shaking. “You hit her car and then thought she was following you? Holy shit. Were you an asshole to her?”
I smirk at him. “She named me Asshat in her phone.” That set us both off. I figure if I laugh I’ll notice how stupid the idea of getting her under me is. Getting her naked and sweaty and wet under me. Fuck, I need to do something about this.
“You know you’re fucked, right?” He finally stops laughing and throws his hand over the couch. “When you saw me touch her, I thought you would charge at me like one of those bulls running toward the red sheet.”
“She’s nothing more than a crazy chick with a tight ass. Who will get me coffee daily.”
“Oh, really?” Her voice cuts through the air, and just when I thought I could turn her opinion of me as an asshat into that of a nice guy, I’m caught again. “Well, then, I’m happy I could assist you in your day,” she snorts, coming in and dumping the bags on the table in front of us. “I also got something for your friend,” she huffs and then walks away. This time slamming the door on her way out.
“Oh fuck, you are in so much fucking trouble. Dude, she is going to fucking string you up by the balls. Remember that chick you played in college? The one you promised to bring home during spring break? She turned around and cancelled all your tickets. Then she put that ad all over Craigslist ‘Lonely man searching another lonely man.’” I shake my head thinking about it.
“She was fucking crazy! I had to change my number four times. Four! Then I had to start wearing beanies so she wouldn’t recognize me.” I shake my head, while Noah laughs so hard he falls over. I look over at him “It was fucking May! I had to take three showers a day. I had no idea the head could sweat so much.”
He finally stops laughing and looks in the bag that Lauren just dumped on the table in front of us. “If I were you, I’d enjoy this. It’s probably going to be the last meal she hasn’t had the time to spit in.” I open the box that has my name on it. It’s pastrami on rye, touch of mustard and a pickle. The other box has a ham and cheese on brown.
We spend the next thirty minutes eating our lunch while shooting the shit about everything else.
“Are you going out this weekend with Deborah?” he asks me. Deborah is a family friend who I turn to when I have nothing else going on. We both have jobs that keep us busy; she is in real estate law, so we touch base from time to time. I shrug my shoulder. “Not sure what my weekend plans are. What do you have planned?”
He takes out his phone, scrolling. “Andrea, that is who I plan to do. I met her at Starbucks. She has the longest legs I’ve ever seen. I plan to have them wrapped around my neck, and not in a wrestling move, either.” He raises his eyebrows. “If you know what I mean.”
I chuckle at him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with someone more than twice. He gets up, putting the garbage in the bag. “This has been a hoot, but sadly, I must run.”
He takes the bag while he walks out. I follow him out and see him stop at Lauren’s desk. She is busy typing something, so she only turns her head. “Thank you so much for lunch, Lauren. You were a life saver.” I roll my eyes at the bullshit he’s spewing, but it’s the sweet smile that Lauren is giving him that really gets to me. I’m about to scoff when he walks away, leaving her with a wink.
“He is so nice,” she says while she continues typing. I don’t know why I feel like I want to rip the keyboard out from in front of her just so she will look at me, just so I can see her face.
“Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving,” I comment while leaning into the door jamb.
She finally stops typing and looks over at me. “Don’t I know it.” Her eyes roam from my head to my toes. It makes my spine stand straight.
“I’ll have you know that I’m the nicest guy here.” I have no idea why I’m trying to convince her of this. I couldn’t care less if she likes me or not. I’m her boss, she is my temp. The fact that I want to see her smile at me is not the point right now. Nor is the fact that I’m also wondering if she is wearing a thong under her skirt or going commando? Does she wax or shave? Landing strip or bare? All these thoughts are running through my mind, so I don’t hear her talking to me right away. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I ask her again.