Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82214 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82214 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Duke’s body slumped, and the tall, frustratingly friendly asshole suddenly seemed like a shell of himself. Not that I knew him well enough to know, but he’d never been shy about his size before. “I don’t know what to do, man.”
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
He smacked his legs, which I realized were incredibly white up to his thighs. I fought the urge to move away from him.
“She told me it had only happened once,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t tell whether she’s lying.”
“Why would she lie if she told you in the first place?” If he knew Darlene, he knew better than that.
“I don’t know. I just didn’t think I’d ever be in this position. Not with her.”
That I understood. I’d had my share of doubts about Darlene toward the end of our relationship, but that was after it all went to hell. After she started manipulating me. Well, after she got tired of me manipulating her. I’d made so many mistakes, and I was sure Duke had, too. But I wanted to fix mine. I wanted to make up for it. Darlene, despite everything, had agreed to let me. And here I was doubting her, too.
“Even if it seems really bad, I think everyone should get another chance.” I froze when I realized I’d said that out loud. I hadn’t exactly meant to direct that at Duke, but he was nodding hard, so hard that I almost expected his head to pop off his neck.
“Yeah.” He sniffed. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s just hard, you know?”
I shook my head, but he kept talking.
“I can’t look at her, at her lips or her eyes. Not without—”
“Knowing she gave it all to someone else?” I looked at him then, and for a moment, our eyes met. It was as if he understood something within what I’d said, though I hadn’t truly intended for that pain to come out on its own.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, massaging a spot between his thumb and forefinger. “I know it wasn’t the same situation, but I’m sorry it looked like I took her from you. I know that’s what you think.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, hoping he’d stop talking about it.
“No, really.” His voice was firm, so I looked into his eyes again. “We met when you two were separated, but you weren’t divorced. It wasn’t right. I shouldn’t have been around while your family was going through stuff.”
“It was over by then, Duke.” The words felt like freedom. Like a weight left with them and brought back a new hope. “I screwed up my marriage. It was my job to fight for my family, and I didn’t. Now it’s my job to be there for my son and your job to be there for Darlene.”
Duke nodded, and his brow furrowed. “I still got in the way. Even after. And I’m sorry.”
“I appreciate it.”
For a moment, I considered asking him if he knew he was still nodding, but the steel beam of a man went from a stiff bounce of his head to a questionable sway, then his entire head turned a shade of red that brought with it a soft cry, which stiffened my entire frame.
What the hell was I supposed to do now? This man was basically a pillow, and I had always seen him as this unmovable rock ready to beat me down just to keep me from my family. He’d taken my home, ex-wife, and son, but after seeing him puddle in front of me, I felt like I misunderstood everything happening in my life.
I had the absolute worst intuition of any human being alive. No wonder I dug myself into endless holes. But what could I say to my ex’s boyfriend crying beside me as if we were buds in a bar complaining about a breakup?
“Just trust her. Okay? It’ll suck, but she fought for me for a long time. She deserves someone to fight for her for once.”
Duke and I didn’t say much after that, but what we did say was enough that I felt a little more comfortable with where we stood. I couldn’t see myself ever calling him a friend, but I at least understood that he was just a guy who had fallen in love with a woman. A good woman.
And it wasn’t his fault that I’d kept us from being the same two college kids who sat on this bench talking about oak trees, playing each other new music, and eventually crying in each other’s arms when I managed to pull out a ring after several failed attempts.
I’d always had a poor outlook on life and saw my moments with Darlene as gifts I needed to earn. But I’d earned every minute with her, and she’d earned so much more than I gave her. I’d realized that already, but every time I thought about it, it felt like a new revelation, a new reason to stay motivated to do things the right way.