Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 59044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 295(@200wpm)___ 236(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 295(@200wpm)___ 236(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
Julian, it seemed, was not a man who riled that way. He had too much control over himself.
And, it seemed, me.
So I sat there on my knees, the lush carpet starting to bite into my skin at the continued pressure, my shoulders aching from the pulled-back position.
As Julian finished his coffee.
As he scrolled.
Then got up, washed things in the kitchen.
And… walked away from me.
Went into his own room.
Time was fluid then.
It could have been moments I sat there, but it felt like hours. And when the moments turned to hours, it felt like years.
As I was forced to be still.
To be quiet.
To do nothing but think and feel.
Eventually, as unexpected and confusing as the night before, I felt tears well up and pour out, an endless stream fed by some deep inner well I hadn’t even been aware was there.
Because the thing was, I wasn’t crying because I was physically hurting.
Sore, yes. But not sore enough to whine about it, let alone cry.
This pain was emotional.
Shit I didn’t even know existed until it was purging out of me.
But, I guess, I was never truly ever simply… alone with myself.
I filled my days with strangers’ attention. I filled my nights with drunken fun.
All to, what? Avoid this? Run from this?
This deep hollowness inside?
I was still sniffling when I heard footsteps coming down the hall toward me.
This time, without shoes on.
And when Julian appeared before me, all I saw were thin black sleep pants.
Had he been… sleeping?
While I’d been naked and bound in the living room?
He let out a deep sigh as his fingers snagged my chin, pulling it up, and inspecting my face that felt raw from crying.
“I thought so,” he said, but seemed to be speaking to himself. Then, “Okay,” as he moved behind me, and unclipped my wrists from my ankles.
He didn’t remove the binds, though.
Instead, he used them to pull me until I understood his meaning and got to my feet.
He released me as he sat down on the couch.
This time, I didn’t mind my lowered gaze position because I got a real eyeful of his bare chest and stomach as he sat.
Those washboard abs I knew would be there. The corded arms.
The deep V of his Adonis belt that disappeared into the low-slung waistband of his pants, and pointed, I knew, to his cock.
His big, thick cock that I suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about.
In my mouth.
Touching the back of my throat.
How much I wanted that again.
But also to feel it slide inside me, stretch me, make me his.
“Come, pet,” he demanded, patting his lap. “No,” he said when I started to turn, to sit my ass there.
I turned back, then climbed over him, my body over his legs, my ass up.
His hand landed there as I settled on the couch, letting my shoulders and ankles finally relax as my face pressed into the couch cushions.
There was a long silence as we sat there.
“Your punishment is not over,” he informed me, but his tone was milder. Just giving me the facts. “You will be restrained until you can be trusted,” he added as his fingers started to trace over my bare ass, teasing over the skin he’d turned pink the night before.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Because, incredibly, I was.
Though it was for things he couldn’t possibly know about. Like how I’d been blaming him all day for things that I, clearly, wanted. Even if I didn’t understand it. Even if some part of me didn’t want to want it.
The spanking, the forced orgasm, the blowjob, and the bondage. It had all proved… cathartic. It had released things I hadn’t known I’d been holding onto.
And I felt… better.
I felt… lighter.
Less weighed down.
Less… empty.
“I know, pet,” he agreed. “But you have to earn back trust now,” he told me. “You’ve been too coddled,” he went on. “You need someone with a strong hand to teach you,” he added. “To behave. To submit. To feel,” he said, and those words were like a gut punch.
How could he have known that I needed that?
When I hadn’t even known myself?
“Alright,” he said, patting my ass almost playfully. “Let’s go to bed,” he said, and I lifted up and crawled off of him before getting to my feet.
I started to walk, but he caught up, grabbing the X of leather still connected to one of my wrists.
Then pulled me, led me like a dog, away from my room. And into his.
When he flicked the light on, my wide eyes moved around the room, seeing what he’d been doing all day while I’d been gone.
Setting up his room.
Spread across the dresser were various items. A belt. A flogger. A paddle. Beside that, several boxes of newly purchased… sex toys? A vibrator. Plugs. And something else next to a pair of panties.
Before I could wrap my head around that, though, he was pulling me to the bed.