Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 408(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 408(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
“I’m glad I didn’t succeed,” I admitted honestly. “For so long afterwards I was so angry, so fucking mad at the person who found me, the people who tried to help me…but then I met you, and I remember the very moment I started wondering what if. What if I didn’t have to be alone anymore? What if…there was more.”
“Because of me?” he asked, crunching his eyebrows together in disbelief.
“Of course I started to heal a long time ago, with meds and therapy, but you…you completed the process. You’re a beautiful guy, Ryder, body and soul. You were the first person to show me kindness in such a long time, and then the more time I spent with you, the deeper I started to fall.” I moved my chair closer to his, the feet screeching along the cracked tiles. “You’re funny. Confident. You knew me getting into this business wasn’t exactly planned or necessarily wanted but you didn’t judge me. You guided me. You took care of me, took away my fears about my first scene. You have a good heart that you’re not afraid to use. I didn’t understand it for a long time and then after you told me what happened to you I realized it’s not your heart you’re afraid of, it’s other people’s.”
“I can’t believe you saw all that in me,” he said quietly, shaking his head.
“Not saw – see.”
“You know when I first met you at your audition, I wondered what the hell you were doing there. You were so mellow, so uneasy. A strong part of me wanted to fuck you senseless. Show you what this business was all about. Show you what I was about. I thought if anyone could bring you out of yourself it would be me. But then when you started talking I saw you had a reason. I can’t explain it properly. The way you looked at Ivan, like you needed it. I knew then there was more to you than a horny guy looking to make a quick buck and I instantly craved to know more.”
“Is that why you offered your place to me?” I asked curiously.
“Partly, I guess.” Ryder shrugged. “But also because I’m not a completely heartless bastard and it was obvious to a freaking blind man you had no place to go.”
“I was so embarrassed when you asked me. I’ve never wanted pity from anyone.”
“I didn’t pity you. If I’m honest, I was kinda hoping I’d still get to fuck you.”
“Ha!” I laughed, tipping my head back. “So that was your sneaky little plan all along, huh?”
“It worked didn’t it?” Ryder winked at me and patted my knee. His touch immediately stopped me in my tracks as it reverberated throughout my body, straight into my soul.
“I really care about you, Ryder,” I blurted out involuntarily.
His eyes widened just a little before he let out a long, loud sigh. “I care about you too, tiger,” he said with a soft, genuine smile. “You know I don’t know anything about love, that the whole concept scares the absolute shit out of me, but I do know that if I was capable of love, I would love you.”
Jesus H Christ. There and then I felt the exact moment my heart stopped beating.
“I…” My mouth felt like it was coated in sandpaper. The words lodged in my throat making it difficult to swallow. I had no words. There were no words. Instead I did the only thing that felt right. Leaning closer to him, I pressed my palm to the side of his cheek.
“I need to kiss you right now.”
Ryder sucked in a breath but seemingly couldn’t form words either. Slowly, I merged my lips with his. I didn’t move, didn’t explore, I just felt him. Reluctantly I pulled back just a little, regaining my breath and gaging his reaction. His eyes were closed, his lips parted. Then, the second he opened them, his gaze boring into mine, he crashed his mouth to mine without warning, immediately dipping his tongue inside and tangling it with my own.
My body set alight as I grabbed at his waist, lifting him onto my knee. Ryder wound his fingers into my hair, keeping me close to him as we devoured each other with a passion beyond anything I’d ever experienced. My dick throbbed, uncomfortable beneath my tight jeans. I arched my hips, rubbing against him as I reached in between us with one hand to find he was equally hard.
“S-stop.” I panted, breaking the seal of our lips. “Slow, remember?”
“Holy fuck, that was…”
“Intense?”
“Beautiful.”
I buried my face in his neck, my veins tingling from his scent dancing into my nose and my heart throbbing furiously in time with his racing pulse.
“Let’s go inside,” I suggested, smiling against the stubble on his chin.
He sighed, kissing the top of my head. “Thank you.”