Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 88350 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88350 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 442(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
Eventually, he made his way to his office. As he was hanging his jacket on the hat rack in the corner of the small space, he noticed something sticking up from an inner pocket. He plucked it out and stared at it. It was the piece of rope he’d used as Lia’s temporary training collar.
He stared at it for a long while, image after image of Lia flashing through his mind.
Enough.
He tossed the rope into the trash and took his seat behind the desk.
Since he wouldn’t have a course load until January, he didn’t yet have any student office hours. He could finally dive into his chosen research topic for the next edition of Journal of Asian Studies.
His topic was symbolism and imagery embedded in Shibari patterns, knots and techniques, with a focus on Japanese cultural symbols, mythology and spirituality.
To that end, he opened his messenger bag and pulled out the copies of records pertaining to the subject that he’d obtained from the Japanese National Archives, along with his notes from various academic conferences he’d attended while overseas.
He organized the pages into some semblance of order and then booted up his computer. He began to work on the outline of the article, fleshing it out in his mind as he typed. He would include discussion on various knots, including the diamond pattern, the butterfly, the cherry blossom, the dragonfly, the lotus and the heart.
Lia’s lithe, limber body had been an excellent canvas for his ropes. Once she’d stopped fidgeting and had settled into herself, their sessions had taken on more depth. While he’d worked with her, he’d sometimes described the symbolism of the knots he was making.
The dragonfly, which featured loops and knots that resemble the insect’s wings, symbolized the idea of adaptability and the ability to move gracefully within the confines of the rope. The classic lotus knot was a symbol of purity and enlightenment in Japanese Buddhism. The lotus could be used to represent the idea of inner peace and spiritual awakening—that elusive serenity Lia had so admired in Lucia and the other resident slaves at The Enclave.
One knot he’d purposely avoided during their time together had been the heart knot. The heart-shaped knot symbolized love, connection and intimacy between the rope master and his subject. It conveyed a sense of vulnerability and emotional closeness that might have been misconstrued.
Okay. What the hell was he doing? Why was he considering Shibari knots in terms of his ex-trainee? Why did Lia keep insinuating herself in his every thought and action? Was it guilt?
Because he still felt bad for how he’d left her Friday night, though for the life of him, he didn’t see what else he could have done. Would it have been better to go inside with her? To sit her down and explain exactly why he had no business being there? It would have just made things even more awkward than they already were. He’d done the right thing.
So why did it feel wrong?
≈
Lia spent the rest of the weekend focusing on self-care. The idea of heading to The Garden hadn’t appealed. Maybe she’d go later in the week for distraction, but for now she just wanted to keep to herself.
She went for long walks. She pruned and watered her many plants. She took baths in water scented with soothing oils. She watched old romcoms on Netflix, armed with a huge bowl of buttered popcorn and a bottle of crisp white wine. If she cried all the way through them, it was only because she was a sucker for romance.
She managed to field phone calls from her mother and both her sisters, all of whom raved about Beau and what a catch he was. Not wanting to get into any of the details, especially with her mother, she’d basically allowed them to gush without revealing the horrible end to the evening, and the probability they’d met him for the last time.
Happily, her new job kept her thoroughly occupied. As she’d promised herself, she went in early and stayed late. The work was engrossing and soon she lost herself in identifying relevant research materials, articles, books and data sets for the various project assistant requests sent in by professors and PhD candidates.
She would forget for hours at a time that Beau hadn’t found her worthy of pursuing outside the terms of their very limited training contract. She refused to wonder if he was also on campus at the moment. She didn’t obsessively check her cell just in case he’d had a change of heart. She didn’t send long, agonized texts to Lucia or anyone else about how difficult it was to keep the shattered bits of her heart from piercing her resolve to stay strong.
Lucia, good friend that she was, did check in with her several times over the course of the week. Each time, Lia assured her she was fine. It was Beau’s loss if he couldn’t see past their training relationship to something bigger. Who needed him? Not her.