Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 91900 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91900 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
“Yes.”
“When I got pregnant, it was expected for me to have the baby, and I did want it. Don’t get me wrong. Bishop was all about getting rid of it, but I didn’t want to. Then of course, there was the whole guilt about having another man’s baby, and he wouldn’t … give. It was always about him, not about what I was thinking and feeling. The first time I got to see my baby, you know on the ultrasound, it was the most amazing … experience of my life. I loved it. I really did.” She pushed some hair off her face. “I loved my baby and then I found out she was a girl, and it just, I was at peace.”
“Then you lost her.”
She let out a breath. “Yeah, I lost her, and I don’t know, everything shattered then. Before I did lose the baby, Bishop had mentioned about Preacher keeping the baby but her not knowing I was the mother.” She shrugged. “Once again, it was all about him.”
“I could kill him, you know. It would be easy,” Reaper said. “He’s hurt you a great deal.”
“I know, but when I confront Bishop, I want to stare him in the eyes to know he didn’t break me. That all he is and all he’ll ever be is a coward.”
Reaper took her hand, locking their fingers together. “You know, this is all nice, you telling me all of this, but it doesn’t exactly tell me what you want.”
“I’ve told you. All my life, I’ve been doing what everyone else has asked of me. I can honestly say I don’t have the first clue as to who I am or what it is I want.” She still felt lost. It didn’t matter where she was or who she was with, she would always be lost, she knew that now.
“Okay, well, let’s start slow. You know you wanted to go on this walk, right?”
“Yes, I did.” She laughed.
“Success. What do you want for dinner?”
“Pizza. I think I’m wanting pizza.”
“I’ll make sure the guys stop by at a pizza place.” Reaper pulled her close, kissing her lips. “We’ll take it one decision at a time, and you will only ever do what you want to do, Robin. I won’t tell you what to do.”
“And what if one of those decisions is to go home?” she asked.
“Then we’ll have to see what happens when you ask. Are you asking now?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not.”
Chapter Fifteen
Present day
A birthday.
Twenty-one years of age.
Robin sat on the bench outside of the supermarket. She had a large list of items to get but she’d overheard Bear talking to know he’d purposely gotten her out of the house. There was going to be a nice big party, another one at the clubhouse to celebrate her birth.
Yay.
She didn’t know if she wanted to celebrate a life she didn’t remember. A date that was merely a date to her.
Staring up at the large building, it offered her no solutions. Just a day spent wandering up and down the aisles. She’d made a joke to Preacher about how long it took her to shop nowadays because she didn’t know what it was she liked or disliked. She could hold a can of canned peaches, and she didn’t even know if they were worth putting in the cart.
Bear had given her a lot of cash and told her to enjoy the day.
She hadn’t admitted to either Preacher or Bear that she was restless, or there was something she felt she needed to do, because the truth was, there was nothing she could think of. This was her life now. There was no returning memory for her. Just odd voices that wouldn’t come back or make her life any clearer. She didn’t want to talk to Preacher about her worries either.
He had this whole view of her life away from him, and part of her was afraid what he said was right. What if she did have a horrible time filled with death and torture? She had no way of knowing if it was true or not.
In fact, there was nothing she knew for certain. Not of her life, not of her time here, nothing.
Getting to her feet, she decided she’d done enough moping for one day. There was going to be plenty of time for her to feel sorry for herself. It wasn’t just for herself, though. She felt sorry for Preacher. He expected something from her, and she had yet to deliver. Every part of her life felt like a lie and she knew it was because of her.
With a cart in front of her, she put her bag inside and pushed on through the doors. The crowds weren’t fun. She hated being in any crowded place but she needed to get used to it, especially if she was expected to attend a party.