Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 27053 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 135(@200wpm)___ 108(@250wpm)___ 90(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27053 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 135(@200wpm)___ 108(@250wpm)___ 90(@300wpm)
It was very clear she couldn’t look at me. Maybe she felt too embarrassed, too on edge? Or maybe this was really just naturally hard for her?
“Can I ask what brought this on?” Obviously, I had to assume one of the two men in both our lives forced her to do it, but I wanted to hear what she had to say.
It was another long moment where she clearly thought all of this over before she looked me in the eye. “I’ve always been jealous of you, to be completely honest.”
I lifted a brow in surprise, not because I didn’t think I was worthy of someone thinking that about me, but shocked Amber was the person to confess it.
“You’re beautiful. Smart. Have self-confidence like I never did.” She held her water glass, smoothing her fingers over the side, smearing the condensation. “People love you and don’t look at you like you’re the biggest bitch to walk the earth.”
I wanted to remind her that people wouldn’t think that if she didn’t carry herself that way. This was a breakthrough moment for Amber, and I didn’t want to ruin it.
There was so much I wanted to say. But I let her speak, knowing she needed to work this out. I knew this took a lot for her to admit, to sit down and look me in the eye and right her wrongs.
And as much as we’d had our differences, a part of me admired she was taking accountability. Did this mean we were friends? That we would get along? No. But it was a start, and that’s all I could ask for.
She was in my life now because of my father and Carter, and I wanted things to be better between us.
Who wanted to be around someone else and be utterly miserable? Who wanted to have somebody in their life who created this knot of dread in their belly every time they were around them?
If there was a chance we could smooth that out, I was all for it.
She was silent for long moments, and I let her work through whatever she was thinking. I could see she had heavy thoughts as they raced across her face.
“My mother wasn’t a positive presence in my life. There are a lot of issues between her and my father—a lot of issues with her in general. She used me to control him. Would keep me from seeing my father and made a lot of noise with court issues.”
She closed her eyes and rubbed her head, clearly being pulled back to what she was talking about. She glanced up at me, and I saw unshed tears in her eyes, ones that actually tugged at my heart a little.
“My father tried so many times to take me from her for a very long time, to make things better for me. But I grew into a stubborn teenager, resentful, even thinking I knew best, as well. I wanted to stay with my mother. She didn’t care what I did. I could stay out all night and would never get in trouble with her because of my wrongdoings. I knew being with my father would be far different, that there would be rules. He wouldn’t let me get away with shit. So much would change.”
I bit my tongue, the empathetic part of me wanting to comfort her. I thought about Carter and how he tried hard to make things right for Amber. I admired him even more now.
“How I’ve been to people, how I am to you… I wish I would’ve lived with him. I know things would’ve been so much different for me. I know I would have become a better person.”
The waitress came back to see if we decided on anything, but I gently shooed her away, knowing right now wasn’t the time. Hell, we should’ve done this in the privacy of a house, because I could see how hard this was for Amber. It was hard for me too.
Amber had been stripped bare, showed me her vulnerability, and I was pretty sure she hadn’t shown anyone this side of her before.
“And… I’m happy that you and my father are together. I think you’re great for him.”
I felt my eyebrows lift slightly in surprise at hearing her say she was okay with it all, especially the little show she saw back at dinner. But I suppose the shock I felt was that she was actually smiling, that she didn’t seem upset over that truth.
When I stayed silent, it was her turn to lift an eyebrow, her mouth quirking at the corner as she smirked. She thought it was funny that she took me off guard by her comment.
The silence stretched on as I tried to gather my thoughts. But when I cleared my throat and shifted on the chair a little, I actually felt myself smile genuinely.