Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 75457 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75457 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
He’s only wearing boxer briefs, and it’s a look that, on any given day, would steal a woman’s breath away. It’s doing that to me now.
“You should have got me out of bed too.” He chuckles. “I would have gone with you.”
I smile. “You were tired. I wore you out.”
His hand trails over his rock hard stomach to the bulge in his boxers. He cups it through the fabric. “I’m ready to go again, Sin.”
I am too, but my heart won’t let me.
We dove into his bed without a lot of thought. We didn’t consider our past or our present. What happens in the future feels abstract at the moment.
“You’re thinking hard about something?” He steps close to me. “Is it my dick or my tongue? Why don’t you give me the pleasure of letting me show you how my magic fingers work?”
I let out a slight laugh. “Magic fingers?”
He wiggles the fingers on his right hand in the air. “Give me five minutes, and I’ll show you why they’re magic.”
I glance back to the large windows in the main living room. They offer a view of Manhattan that many would consider stellar. I’ve always been of the opinion that any view of this city is priceless. Each is unique in that it offers insight into the lives of other New Yorkers and those adventurous enough to visit this island.
“Sinclair,” he says my name softly as he closes the distance between us with heavy steps. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I whisper. “Everything, maybe.”
“Everything?” he questions as he moves to stand next to me. “Talk to me.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know how to.”
His fingers snake along the bare skin of my forearm. “Let’s start with how you feel about what we did tonight.”
I look up and into his face. “I liked what we did tonight.”
A ghost of a smile coasts over his lips. “Me too. I loved it.”
I love you.
I hold tight to those words, keeping them where they’ve always been, buried somewhere deep inside of me in a place where they’ll never escape.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” He sighs. “You have no fucking idea how badly I wanted to take you to bed in high school, but I felt like you were my best friend back then, so I couldn’t.”
“I always felt like you were my best friend too, until…”
“Until what?” He studies my face. “Until I asked you to marry me?”
It’s the elephant in the room that disappeared for a few hours, but now it’s back.
It’s a reminder I didn’t need.
My stomach knots as I remember how I felt when he walked away from me and all the pain that followed. I felt abandoned, angry, and confused.
I turn my back to him. “I need a minute.”
Jameson rounds me quickly until we’re face-to-face again. “Don’t shut me out. Tell me what’s going through your mind right now.”
I glance at him. “We’ve never talked about that day.”
His arms cross his broad chest. “What’s there to talk about? I asked you to marry me. You said no. I left town.”
“Why did you go?” I can’t hide the tremor in my voice.
He takes a measured step toward me. “It hurt, Sin.”
“What hurt?”
He glances at the ceiling. “The no. It hurt like hell.”
“My saying no hurt you?” I ask to be clear. “You left New York because of that?”
I always assumed he ran away out of sheer anger. I never once considered that pain was part of that equation.
“I left because I was a coward,” he admits. “I was hurt, but there was more to it. I felt like I let my grandmother down. I knew Finella would say yes to Holden. When you said no, I didn’t think there was anything left for me in Manhattan, so I ran.”
My eyes widen.
“I admit it, Sinclair.” He sighs. “I ran. I ran away from everyone because I wasn’t a big enough man to stay here and face reality. Maybe taking off was what I needed to grow the fuck up.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” I apologize in barely more than a whisper. “I couldn’t marry you for money, Jameson. I couldn’t do it.”
I want to say more. I want to tell him that for a brief moment that day on the corner when he asked me to marry him, I thought the question was coming straight from his heart. I didn’t take a second to consider that we’d never kissed at that point. We had never shared our feelings either, but for some reason, hearing him ask that question made me realize how deeply I loved him.
When he followed it up with an explanation about needing to get married to inherit the company, the short-lived dream I had of a happy ending with him shattered into a million pieces.
“I know you couldn’t.” He looks into my eyes. “I put you in a bad spot that day. I panicked and saw you as a means to get what I wanted. I didn’t take your feelings into consideration. I’m sorry for that.”