Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 129323 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129323 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
My heart hammers in my chest, and I close my eyes.
I can’t lose him.
The rational part of my brain tells me I won’t, that he already forgave me. It was in the way he kissed me today. The way he’s held me. Still, we can’t always be rational. Sometimes those intrusive thoughts can’t help but form.
“I just wanted—” I start, but my words die in my throat. “If you knew. If I told you, would you have—”
“No.”
My eyes open at that. Knowing that everything is based on a lie and the only reason I’m here is that lie. It hurts, because a part of me thought that if I was honest, maybe he would have seen me as more than Pip.
“You had to do it. I’m happy you did,” he says, shocking the hell out of me.
My mouth drops open, and then I quickly close it. “Wait. What?”
“I know why you did it now. You didn’t come to my suite to trick me. Things just got out of hand. I was expecting someone else and really didn’t give you ample time to process anything.” He huffs a humorless laugh. “I didn’t remember you. I’m sure your mind was in a million places, all the while I was shoving NDAs in your face.” His head falls back on a groan. “I understand how things could’ve moved really quickly, and after…the ship had sailed.”
I nod because he’s painting a pretty accurate picture of how the night went.
“I could have told you afterward. But…” My words trail off as I try to figure out how to say this. “That night, with the sorting, old habits just kicked in. I wanted to help.” I shrug. “The more time that went by, the more I wanted to be with you. To continue to help you, and there was no way you would have let me if I was Pip.”
He chews on his cheek, breathing in deeply and blowing it out through his nose.
“You’re right, I would never have let you put your life on hold for me because you deserve to live, Cassidy. You deserve to chase your dreams.”
I huff out a humorless laugh. “There weren’t many to chase, Aiden. And like I said, I wanted to be here with you.”
He shakes his head, mumbling something, but finally looks up and holds my stare. “If I knew the truth, I’d never have let you do any of this. I would’ve sent you away.”
My face falls, but I don’t turn away from him. I refuse.
“The thing is, I’m glad I didn’t know, because things changed. I got to know Cassidy. I got to know you. And I don’t regret any of it. I don’t want to change any of it.”
We both move, coming together, lips sealing together. It’s a long kiss. A passionate one. But it doesn’t last long before Aiden pulls away, leaving me practically panting.
“Talk and then…” Aiden leaves the possibilities dangling on a mischievous grin.
We both go quiet for several moments. The air feels heavy with all the truths we’ve both exposed. I’m raw from my confessions.
“Tell me about what I missed,” Aiden says, breaking the silence.
“Oh jeez. No.” I try to laugh, but the truth is, I never want to think about my time in the trailer after Aiden left again.
It’s a miracle I’ve made it this far with all the shit I had to endure in my teens.
My father alone. Not to mention—
“Cass.” Hearing my name has me pulling out of the dark thoughts that threaten to send me back to a horrible place.
“Yeah.” The word slips out as a whisper.
“Come here.” He pulls me close, back into his body, until I can rest my head on his chest.
I love being in this position. Love hearing and feeling his heartbeat. Knowing he’s here and safe.
Peace washes over me. Like I’ve found home. Because that’s what Aiden is to me. Home. He always has been since that first day I saw him.
“I want to know what I missed,” he says into my hair.
“You mean how I paid the bills? Fed my dad?”
His shoulders stiffen, and his entire body goes rigid. I’m afraid I’ve ruined the moment when he relaxes and says, “If that’s what you want to tell me.”
I pull away, gaze locked on his chest. “I don’t. My time back then…” I shake my head, trying to push away the errant thoughts running through my mind. “It’s in the past. I lived. I made it out.” I look up and into his eyes. “I don’t want to go back there.”
His eyes search mine, and I wonder what he thinks he’ll find.
“I missed so much, and if you want to talk—”
“I don’t. Not about that.” I clear my throat, trying to calm my nerves. “I’ll tell you anything you want, but just not about when you left.”