Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 471(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Anyone could have heard us from outside the door. My behavior was reckless, and I hate myself for it.
More than anything, I hate how upset this has made Mari. The last thing I ever wanted was for her to get hurt, and now she’s sobbing in my apartment.
It’s all my fault. I never should’ve involved her in this. The risk was too great.
The reward has been even greater, though. I can’t imagine a life without Mark and Mari. The three of us are perfect together. In a few months, the baby will be born, and our family will grow to four. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth the hardships we’ve endured.
Glancing at Mari, I hope she still wants this. The meeting with Rachel really freaked her out.
I’m pissed about that, too. I begged Rachel not to involve Mari in the whole thing. Rachel knew the tip was valid; Mari didn’t need to come to the office. I don’t understand why Rachel dragged her in or why she spoke to Mari in such a condescending way.
I suppose Rachel talks to everyone that way. Still, I’d wanted to protect Mari from the dean’s harshness. Instead, I subjected her to it.
Mark takes my hand and squeezes it. One look into his eyes tells me he feels as guilty about the situation as I do. When we started our search for a woman to join our relationship, we thought it would be fun and exciting. We never thought it would come to this.
Again, I think Mari is worth it.
I’m just afraid she won’t feel the same way about us.
Mari sniffles. Her tears are coming slower now. When she broke down earlier, I thought I was going to die. Seeing her so upset was enough to almost kill me.
Her puffy, red eyes meet mine.
“What are we going to do?” she asks quietly.
I wish I had a straight answer for her. The truth is, I have no idea what comes next for any of us. Rachel made it clear that Mark and I would face some kind of punishment, but I don’t know what that’ll be. What we did was against NYU’s policy, but not illegal, so at least we don’t have to worry about legal repercussions. The worst that can happen is I’ll lose my teaching credentials and Mark will get kicked out of his PhD program.
My heart aches for him. He’s so close to finishing his dissertation. He will have to scrap it and start over if he’s removed from the program. Plus, he’ll be lucky to get accepted to another program with this spot on his record.
“I’m going to have to give up teaching,” I finally say.
Mari gasps. “They can’t make you do that! They can fire you from NYU, but you’ll land somewhere else.”
I sigh. “No other school will take a professor who’s had an affair with a student. Unfortunately, that’s how it goes.”
“Not even when the relationship was consensual?”
“I’m afraid it doesn’t matter. Like Rachel said, even though you were a willing participant in the relationship, Mark and I technically have power over you. That imbalance makes it difficult to justify our romance.”
Mari starts to cry again. I step forward and wipe her eyes just in time for more tears to form.
“This is all my fault!” she sobs.
“Absolutely not,” I deny firmly. “None of this is your fault.”
“It is! The two of you could’ve gotten away with this. You probably would’ve gotten a slap on the wrist, and Mark would’ve had to TA a different class, but the consequence wouldn’t have been so steep if a student weren’t involved. You’re losing your jobs because of me!”
“Mari, no… That’s not what’s happening. We’re being punished for breaking NYU’s strict rules. It’s not your fault.”
“It is.”
Nothing I say or do will convince her otherwise. I know how she feels since I’m feeling the same way. Only this is actually my fault, not hers. I’m the professor in this relationship. I knew the risk when I started dating Mark, and again when Mari joined in. It’s on me, not them.
“Don’t worry about it, Mari. Everything is going to be fine,” Mark consoles her.
She gapes at him. “How can you act like this is no big deal? It’s the biggest deal possible. You’re losing your jobs!”
“It’s okay…”
“Okay?” Mari cries. “How can you…you’re completely unfazed. It’s like you’re both in denial. Something major is happening. You’re being investigated by the university for an inappropriate relationship, and you’re acting like it’s just a regular day on campus!”
I wish it was a regular day on campus. That’s how the morning started. Then I got the call from Rachel telling me to come in. I knew immediately that she knew about Mark and Mari. There was something accusatory in her voice when she asked me to her office.