Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 61591 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61591 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
As soon as I arrived at his house, Vee crushed me in a hug and exclaimed, “Good to see you, man!”
“Good to see you, too.”
Once we let go of each other, he said, “Something’s different.”
“I’m overdue for a haircut.”
He grinned and wiggled his thick, dark brows suggestively. “You should let it grow. I like you a little scruffy.” He was a massive flirt, and I knew not to take anything he said seriously.
I glanced at him while I took off my jacket and hung it on the coat rack beside the door. Vee was literally and figuratively a very colorful person. His shaggy, black hair currently sported emerald green streaks, and he was wearing a red mesh T-shirt with pink camo cargo shorts. This look was completed with a pair of green flip flops and a lot of eclectic jewelry.
When I followed Vee into the living room, which was as colorful and eclectic as he was, his housemate Embry greeted me enthusiastically. So did Vee’s little blue parakeet, Clementine. As soon as he spotted me, the bird shrieked, “What the fuck!” It was the only thing he ever said. Then he flew directly at my face.
I ducked instinctively, and he ended up landing on my shoulder. That made me twitchy, since I never knew when Clementine might decide to peck at something. But I let him stay there as I took a seat on one of the mismatched club chairs.
Embry was a cute little twink with a mop of bleached blond curls and a well-deserved reputation for being a walking disaster. He poured a drink from a pitcher on the coffee table and sloshed a little onto the area rug as he handed it to me. Then he offered me the charcuterie board and beamed with pride as he said, “I made it myself.”
I probably would have been able to guess that, because it was an off-beat combination of string cheese, baby carrots, Skittles, and gum. After I declined, Vee got right to it by saying, “We’re dying to hear about your new roommate and your hookup from hell.”
He and Embry sat up straight on the couch with their full attention on me, like two kids waiting for story time. This was all pretty embarrassing, so I muttered, “Can I just say it was a disaster and leave it at that?”
Vee shook his head. “Absolutely not.”
I glanced at Embry, who gave me an encouraging smile. I didn’t know him very well, but he didn’t seem like the judgmental type, so I said, “Okay, fine. I met this guy back in February on one of the hookup apps, and—”
Vee asked, “Which one?”
“Does it matter?”
“I guess not.”
“Anyway, we messaged back and forth for a while, and it was smoking hot. His photo was too, and—”
“Face pic or dick pic?” That was from Embry.
“Neither. Anyway, I agreed to go to his hotel room, even though he’s not my usual type.” I took a sip of the drink in my hand, which turned out to be sangria, and continued, “It started off great.”
Vee asked, “Did you kiss him?”
A shiver of pleasure ran down my spine as I remembered the way he’d grabbed me, pushed me against the wall, and claimed my mouth. I’d tried not to think about that night since then, so I’d almost forgotten how incredible those first moments had been.
My little audience was waiting for an answer, so I pushed the memory aside and cleared my throat. “We kissed when I first got there.”
“Then what?”
All of this was way more information than I usually shared with people, but I knew Vee would keep asking embarrassing questions until he got the whole story out of me. “Then we went right to a blow job.”
His next question was, “Were you giving or receiving?”
“Giving. Everything was going great, until he startled me.”
Vee raised an eyebrow. “Startled you how?”
“He sneezed, but it was more of a yell.”
Embry nodded. “I used to have a coworker who did that, and it always scared the crap out of me. Instead of a nice, little ah-choo, it was more like AH-PLAH!”
He shouted that last bit, which made the parakeet retreat to the safety of the fireplace mantel. I gestured at Embry and exclaimed, “Exactly! And when he did that, I reflexively bit down and—”
Vee yelled, “Oh my god, you bit his dick off!”
Upon hearing that, the rest of his housemates ran in from the kitchen. Yolanda, who was a nurse, seemed highly concerned as she asked, “What happened?”
“Nothing!” My cheeks were burning. “I did bite him, but I didn’t bite it off.”
Her wife JoJo asked, “Wait, who got bit?”
“Tracy was telling us about a hookup that happened a few months ago,” Vee explained. “The guy with the bitten dick showed up today as his new roommate.”
JoJo muttered, “Wow, embarrassing.”
Embry asked, “What happened after you bit him?”