Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 39971 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 200(@200wpm)___ 160(@250wpm)___ 133(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39971 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 200(@200wpm)___ 160(@250wpm)___ 133(@300wpm)
I close my eyes and try to sleep but I can't, because my stomach is turning too much. I just focus on trying not to throw up.
But despite my best efforts not to, I soon start gagging again and run off to the bathroom. I'm in there for a long time, leaning over the toilet. I feel really nauseous but I'm not throwing up, so at least that's a good thing.
After a little while, I splash a bit of cold water on my face before leaving the bathroom. Then I return to the living room, hoping nothing comes up now.
Once I make my way back to the couch, I sit up on it instead of laying down. I close my eyes and just lean my head back against the cushions, feeling relieved that the nausea has temporarily eased.
About 30 minutes later, there's a knock at the door. Slowly I get up to answer it and Janice is standing there, carrying a plastic bag from the drugstore in her hand. She holds the bag out to me as she enters the house.
I take the bag from her and pull the test out. After we walk over to the couch together and sit down together, I put the box holding the test on the coffee table. Then I crumble up the bag and toss it into a nearby trash can as I stare at the test.
"Do you really think I should do this?" I ask her.
"Yes. It's the only way to make sure you’re not pregnant. Whatever the result is, at least you'll know, okay?" she says gently.
I pick up the box and study the instructions, hesitating for a few minutes before finally admitting out loud, "Okay, you're right.”
Then I take the test into the bathroom and shut the door. I open it up and pull it out of the package, breathing in deeply before sitting down on the toilet and peeing on it.
Once I'm done, I set it on the counter and begin the excruciating job of waiting to see what the result will be. After only a few seconds, I realize I can’t just stand here holding my breath all alone— I think I might go crazy this way!
So, I open the door and walk back out into the living room, where I sit down next to Janice on the couch. She takes my hand and holds it.
We're silent as we wait for the time limit to be over. It feels like the seconds are taking forever to tick by. I'm too nervous to say anything right now.
My mind is completely blank. I feel like my entire future is hanging in the balance and depend on what the test results are.
Janice checks her phone every few seconds. Finally, she nudges my shoulder.
"It's time," she says.
We walk together to the bathroom, where she stands in the doorway without going all the way in. I let go of her hand and walk over to the counter by myself to pick up the test.
I look at the results in shock. My hand goes to my mouth as I see the positive result on the test.
Then I hand it to Janice, who grabs it and looks at it right away.
"Holy fuck,” she exclaims.
“Yeah. Holy fuckity fuck fuck,” I agree.
“Well. Hmmm. What are you going to do now?" she asks, in a tone that sounds as confused as I feel.
“I really don’t have the slightest idea. I haven’t thought this far out.”
I know that I should have, especially since I’ve known this could be a possibility, but, like I said, I’d been purposefully deluding myself into thinking it was just a stomach flu. My mind can’t wrap itself around the gravity of this life-changing event. It didn’t even feel real until just now.
“That’s okay. You have time to decide,” Janice reassures me.
“I’m so glad I have you,” I tell her. “I have so many decisions to make!”
“I feel like it comes down to one, basically,” she says.
Not really, I think, because there are already so many others running through my mind.
But I get that there’s one main question I have to decide before the others even matter.
Or more like two. Although I’m sure she or any reasonable person would think the second decision shouldn’t be up for debate at all.
Should I tell Steve I’m pregnant?
I can’t even voice my question out loud at first— not even to Janice, my very best friend.
We walk back to the living room and sit on the couch together. I quickly wrap up the test inside all the packaging and I make sure to bury it in the trash can where my brother won't find it.
I'm quiet as I try to think of what to say.
This completely changes everything and renders me speechless.
We sit on the couch for a few minutes as I try to gather my thoughts.