Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 72945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
“You’re telling me that back when you and my dad were basically still kids, my dad screwed you over, and so you decided to try to ruin my life decades later as revenge?”
“Your father died before I got around to making him pay for it himself, and I figured his son was the next best option. I’ll be honest, Baptist. You made it fucking easy.” He laughs and throws more crumbs for the birds.
I sit there seething. I’m trembling with anger, the deep reservoir of rage inside of me beginning to open and spill over. I could kill him right here, murder him in this public place. I almost did it yesterday—why not do it today? Finish the job and be done with this nightmare.
But Blair’s face holds me back.
The pain in her eyes.
She’s not here to get hurt—but I know what’ll happen if I end up going to prison for the rest of my life.
Can I really do that to her?
“I don’t believe you,” I say quietly and he glances over, head tilted to the side. “You’re clever, Cowan. You like to set up your puppets and make them dance, but there’s no way you knew my father that long ago. My father was nothing back then.”
“And he’s still nothing, just like his son.” Cowan sighs and runs a hand through his head as he crosses his legs. “Understand something, Baptist. I’d never work with you, not for real. Why would I, when you’re an emotional loose cannon? You think I’m the crazy one, but you saw the truth about yourself yesterday. You only ever hurt the people in your life.”
“That’s bullshit. You barely know me.”
“I know you well enough. You’re just like your father, one mistake away from losing it completely. That’s what happened to him, isn’t it? He messed up when he sold his theater to the Crawford family and he went completely nuts afterward, right? You’re the same way. You have that same darkness inside of you, and if you’re not careful, it’ll spill out and poison everyone around you.”
“I’m not my father.” I lean forward, sitting on the edge of the bench.
“But you are. You’re going to hurt everyone you love, just like you hurt him. Do you know how I got that script? I spoke with your mother. She told me everything that happened, and I’ll be honest, Baptist. The whole story is disgusting. The way you failed your father and walked away when he needed you the most.” He shakes his head slowly, lip curled. “No, I’d never get involved with someone like you. I have more self-respect than that.”
I try to process but what he’s saying ricochets around my brain, mixing in with images from the past, mangling my memories and mashing them together. I see my father’s look of pure disappointment and pain when I told him his script wasn’t any good, the last time we interacted, and I see Blair’s agony as she cried on the floor of the hotel suite, and I see my mother’s devastation at my father’s funeral, and I see my life ticking past like a movie reel, speeding toward the inevitable conclusion: everyone around me, hurt and ruined and left smoking husks.
All because of me.
“You’re wrong,” I say and there’s no conviction in my voice. I can’t muster the passion hiding inside of me anymore. Cowan’s extinguished it all.
Cowan only smiles ruefully. He slowly gets to his feet, tossing more bread on the ground further away. The pigeons follow, cooing, as Cowan looks down at me with contempt.
“You don’t even believe that anymore. Listen to yourself. You let your little girlfriend throw herself into danger again and again, all for what, your own ego? All to get a shot at making a movie with me. It’s pathetic. That’s who you are, Baptist. You’re a danger to everyone around you. Give up and walk away before someone else gets hurt. Leave that poor girl alone. At least suit has a spine, unlike you.”
I clench my hands into fists. He turns, showing me his back. I could throw him to the ground and stomp on his skull, cracking it in half—
But what would that accomplish? Prove I’m stronger than an old man?
Cowan walks away. I watch him go and don’t make a move to stop him as his words echo through my skull.
Walk away before someone else gets hurt.
Blair’s bruised and bloodied lip. The pain in her eyes.
If I stay with her, is that our future? More agony?
Just like my poor, wasted father, and my mourning ghost of a mother.
What’s left for me now?
I ruin everything I touch, and if I touch the one thing I really want in this world, I’ll destroy her, too.
Chapter 23
Blair
It takes a few days, but I finally get a text from Zoe the barista. He’s sitting in the bar down the block if you want to talk to him. Just saw him through the window!!