Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
He nodded, but it was clear he was still upset.
It took a long time for everyone to say their goodbyes. There were tears and hugs that just made the aching feeling in Deacon’s gut intensify and spread out.
“You okay?” Deacon asked when they were in the car.
“Yeah.” Grady leaned over and kissed him quickly, his lips tasting like salt.
The drive back to the hotel was short, and when they got there, Grady said, “I’m gonna jump in the shower real quick.”
Deacon nodded, paced the room, sat on the bed, then paced again. Grady shouldn’t have to leave his family when he’d just gotten them back. It was selfish, but all Deacon could think about was the fact that he didn’t want to lose him. He’d felt so alone for so long, and Christ, what if he lost him? But then, could he blame Grady? They were his family, his blood. He’d known Deacon for just a few months, when he’d been looking for years for a home that was now there for him—the place he grew up in, with the people who meant the most to him.
It was there, in the back of his head, that he was jumping to conclusions. That Grady hadn’t said he wanted to stay in Lilington. But he knew Grady, knew how much family meant to him and how much he wanted to take care of those he loved.
The water turned off, and a few minutes later Grady came out wearing boxer briefs and nothing else. He frowned when he saw Deacon, clearly able to tell something was the matter.
“You want to stay,” Deacon said, knowing it was true. The words tasted bitter on his tongue, hurt forming in his chest.
Grady sighed, then sat on the bed, which Deacon took as confirmation. “Yes…and no. It’s not cut-and-dried.” His leg was bouncing. “I can’t help feeling afraid I’m going to lose this. That once I’m gone, they’ll change their mind and not want me anymore, so I should enjoy it while I can.”
Each word he spoke ripped Deacon’s heart out, not for himself, but for Grady. “They won’t. Jesus, Grady. You deserve so much better than that.”
“It happened before.”
“Doesn’t mean it’ll happen again.” Deacon walked over and knelt in front of him. “Part of the reason you don’t want to stay is me.”
Grady closed his eyes, inhaled and exhaled several times before opening them again. “Yes.”
“I can’t ask you to do that. I can’t ask you to walk away from your family for me.” He stood, got dizzy, but tried to ignore it.
“You didn’t ask, and it’s the same thing as you with Eugene and Frances. You lost them because of me.”
“But that was their choice, not ours.”
How could he do this? How could he expect Grady to leave his family, leave Scout, for him?
How could Deacon live without him?
“I love you, Deke. I just found you. I’ve spent too much of my life losing people I love, and I’m not going to let that happen with you.”
His words fit themselves into all the blank spaces inside Deacon, all the nooks and crannies left empty. This man really loved him, would do anything for him…and Deacon felt the same. Like every moment, painful and happy both, had led them there, together, because with Grady was where he was supposed to be.
It was that truth that made him turn around, made him walk over to Grady and say, “We can move here. We talked about looking for a new place anyway.” Once he said the words, he realized how deep they ran. He would leave Briar County, leave his home, if it meant keeping Grady. “It would take me a while to join you because I’d have to figure out how to move forward with Sundae’s Best. It would be long-distance until then, but we’re close enough that it’s not as if we couldn’t see each other once a month, or hell, even on weekends, if we worked out our schedules right. It would be hard, but…why are you smiling?”
“You never wanted to move out of Everett.”
“Well, no, but—”
“But you would…for me. Because you love me that much.”
“Yeah,” Deacon replied.
Grady’s smile grew so big Deacon thought his face would split open. Grady wrapped his arms around him, picked him up, which was weird as fuck, but clearly, he’d made Grady happy…which meant they were doing it. He was going to move out of Briar County. They could look for another building here… Have two ice cream parlors. It wasn’t something he’d ever considered before, opening up another location, but he also didn’t want to lose his ice cream. It was what he did, what gave him joy.
“Christ, I love you. So fucking much. I can’t believe this. How in the hell did I get so lucky?” Grady set him down, peppering kisses all over his face. “No one has ever loved me like you do.”