Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
They were quiet, didn’t talk much as they gathered the pillows and blankets, turned out the lights, then climbed into bed. But once there, Deacon snuggled in close and wrapped his arms around Grady the way he’d so quickly become used to.
“’Night.” Deke’s voice was low, sleepy.
“Good night.”
Chapter 20
Deacon
Deacon didn’t get more than a couple of hours of sleep. His thoughts had woken him up, and he couldn’t find a way to quiet them.
Grady breathed deep and even beside him, his lips slightly parted. Deacon just…watched him as best he could in the soft glow of light from the moon.
He’d kissed a man that night. He’d never thought about kissing a man before, but then, he’d never much thought about kissing anyone except Patricia. Like he’d told Grady, he’d kissed a few girls in high school simply because that was what he was supposed to do. Then he’d fallen in love with Patty, and it hadn’t mattered to him that he was young. He knew she was it for him, that he’d spend the rest of his days loving her and wanting her, and then she died. After that, he didn’t want anyone…until now. Until Grady. A man.
He wondered if that part should make him feel… Hell, he didn’t know the word. Surprised? Confused? Scared? And it did in some ways, but it didn’t bother him that he’d kissed a man. He wasn’t so much freaking out over the fact that Grady was a male, but that he felt this at all, that he wanted this at all.
He had a man in the same room he’d shared with his wife. She’d been his world, his heart, and now there was someone else he wanted to kiss, to touch, to laugh with and tease and hold. It was that truth that kept him up, watching Grady, thinking, then eventually slipping out of bed to go sit on the back porch.
Morning would be there soon, the sun rising in an hour or two. There was moisture in the air, a slight trickle of rain. A new day was starting. Toads croaked somewhere in the background, signs of life all around him, and…he was moving on. Christ, he was moving on. He hadn’t been sure that would ever happen, but it was, because of Grady.
He sat there a moment, taking in the scenery of this town he loved so damn much. It would be different with him and Grady. People would have stuff to say. He might lose people in his life. Eugene and Frances would never understand.
Hell, he was getting ahead of himself. He didn’t know what Grady wanted. Maybe this was all it would ever be. Maybe he was supposed to be okay with that. People did it all the time.
“You okay?” he heard behind him, Grady’s tone husky and sleepy.
“Yeah, just thinking.”
“Can I sit with you, or would you rather be alone?”
Deacon nodded toward the chair. “You can sit. I kinda like your company.”
There was a small chuckle in Grady’s voice when he said, “I kinda like yours too,” and then he opened the screen door and took the chair beside him. “I love the smell of the rain, especially right now, a little before dawn, with a sexy man beside me.”
“You flirting with me?” Deacon teased, but he liked it. Damned if he didn’t like the idea of Grady flirting with him.
“Would it be okay if I was?”
“I should hope so, after last night.”
“Are you having second thoughts? Regrets? Worries? It’s okay if you are. It’s to be expected. The last thing I want is to pressure you, and I’m stressing myself out over doing the wrong thing. I need to know where you’re at.”
Deacon turned, looked at him, leaned his head against the back of the chair, and smiled. The urge was there, heavy and potent in his chest to lean over and kiss Grady again and again and again. Jesus, he liked touching, holding, being connected to someone in quiet intimacy. “No second thoughts. No regrets. Worries…don’t really know. Maybe you can call it that, but not in the traditional sense. It’s more…part of me is wondering if I should be feeling fear or confusion because you’re a man, but I just don’t. I’m not saying it’s always going to be that easy. If we keep doing this, if people find out, I don’t know that it’ll be smooth sailing. Which given your history, you know.”
“Your family?” Grady asked.
“Some people in Everett generally, I guess. Patricia’s parents. It’s the way of the world, and for some, it’s another strike against me. My family…don’t know. I mean, I think it’ll be fine. My dad will have the hardest time with it, I reckon, but he wouldn’t disown me or cut me off or anything. Granny and Mama would kick his ass, and he’s smart enough not to risk that.”