Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 42809 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 143(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 42809 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 143(@300wpm)
“We need to find Bragan before the agent does,” Cormie says then, draggin’ my attention back to the present. “Tell me ye and yer boyos will help us. There’ll be a pretty penny in it fer ye, mate.”
“I’ll see what I can do, but I ain’t promisin’ ye anythin’. If we don’t find the fecker, then we don’t. I don’t need to be walkin’ around with a target on my head.”
This time, I’m the one offerin’ a threat behind my words. I’m exhausted, and I’m done playin’ games. This has ta end at some point, and it has ta end here. They may have somethin’ te blackmail me with, but I’m sure I can figure out a way to remove that. The thought lingers fer a moment, and I wonder if I can talk to Tye and see if he’s able to erase that part of my past. But goin’ to him means I’m goin’ta have ta tell Monster about what I did.
“Make sure ye sort it out fer us,” Cormie tells me before he spins on his heel and disappears into the night.
I don’t need to ask him how ta get in touch. He’ll be the one who’ll track me down ta get the answers he wants. And that’s a day I’m really not lookin’ forward ta.
I need ta tell Clover I’m tryin’ta find Rogan, but I need to know she’s safe. I can’t go on knowin’ she’s livin’ in fear, even if she walks away from this thing between us. If she does decide to leave, to pursue her art career, then I’m not goin’ta stop her. She deserves better than what I can give her. She should have a normal life, not workin’ in some old pub in Belfast.
It’s where I find Clover servin’ a couple of lads who seem to be less than sober, but they’re not givin’ her any shite, which sets me at ease. I settle into a seat by the bar before she notices me. She’s more focused on pullin’ pints than seein’ who’s comin’ in.
When her eyes meet mine, I recognise the glimmer of excitement that comes when someone’s in love. Deep down, I wonder if I’m it fer her. We haven’t said those words yet, but I know she feels it. It’s so clear in her stare. And I wonder if I look at her the same way.
“How was yer day?” I ask as she pours me a Jameson and slides the glass over the counter towards me.
Her gaze flicks over to the rest of the bar before she answers, “It’s been busy. I’m ready to get into bed and close my eyes.” She offers me a smile, but there’s somethin’ in the way her mouth tilts downwards after, and the tension in her hand as she grips the bottle. There’s a slight tremble I notice before she sets the whiskey down.
She lifts her eyes, and she’s lookin’ straight at me I can tell there’s something she’s hidin’. I want to push, to ask her what it is, but I don’t. But deep down, I know she’s not goin’ta tell me anythin’ here. Once we’re alone, I’ll get it out of her. It hasn’t been that long we’ve been together, but I can read Clover like a book. Those small tellin’ signs when she’s stressed are obvious to me now. I’m intrigued by her, how she can focus on work, on servin’ drinks, while her mind is so clearly filled with worry. Perhaps she’s heard from Rogan, but if she did, she would’a told me, I’m sure of it.
“Are you okay?” Clover watches me as she wipes down the bar, and I know I’m goin’ta have ta tell her all my secrets soon. The deeper I find myself fallin’ fer this girl, the more I realise I can’t hide forever. If I want her in my life, I’m goin’ta need to learn how to be honest and open about things. Even if they’re not good. Even if I risk losin’ her. I don’t want somethin’ based on lies. It’s the one thing I’m not willin’ to accept.
My past has been littered with shite I should have never done. I know I shouldn’t bring her into the darkness with me, but I also can’t let her go. So, I’m going to have ta tell her the truth and let her decide.
“Aye,” I tell her before I swallow back my drink. “Tonight, we’re goin’ta have ta talk about a few things.”
Her eyes widen in surprise at my words. “That sounds rather ominous.”
“Nothing ominous at all,” I say. “Just need ye ta know what past demons linger around me. I don’t want ye stayin’ with me when ye don’t know the real man behind all the bullshit.”
“You know I’m not going anywhere,” Clover insists.
She’s said it before, but I don’t know how much of my past she knew back then. She only met me briefly when she was a teen. And even when we connected again in the rehab centre, I didn’t give her the entire story. I couldn’t tell her everythin’. I couldn’t tell her just how much I loved killin’ Ma’s boyfriend.