Total pages in book: 23
Estimated words: 21966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 21966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
“I guess we’ll never know because you never gave me a chance, Jeff.”
I look down at my hands, twisting them together and wondering where I go from here. As I look up at the man who I was once prepared to marry, all I know is that, right now, I just want him to leave…
CHAPTER 3
Jake
I yank my shirt off and wrap my hand up in it, ignoring the splinters and mostly drying up the blood. Punching holes into the old barn might not be the best way for me to deal with my anger, yet it’s what I have. I would rather be hitting my brother. That option isn’t available right now. I want to scream at Katie that my son should know who I am. It’s me my son should be yelling to stay with. I feel cheated, betrayed, and stupid. Christ, I feel so fucking stupid.
How did I not know that Lennon was mine all these years?
Immediately, I correct myself. I’ve always wondered. I saw the writing on the wall. I didn’t confront Katie because I was afraid of the answer. Fuck, a part of me was relieved to think Jeff was Lennon’s father.
I wasn’t ready to have kids. I wasn’t ready to be the man that Katie needed. I believe I am now, but even knowing I want Katie and Lennon in my life, I’m still worried that I’ll fuck all this up. I’ve never been a husband or a father. I sure as hell didn’t have a man in my life to learn from.
I’m pretty fucking sure being out here beating up the barn and leaving Katie alone with my brother is not the way that I needed to react now. I have to man up. If the opportunity arises to knock my brother on his ass, then I will enjoy it to the fucking moon. I open the door of the barn to go outside and the first thing I see is my brother’s truck speeding down the drive, leaving a trail of dust. I walk slowly back to the house. Fuck, I have no idea if Katie even wants me here. I’m positive my son doesn’t. I just don’t know what to do about any of it. I need to go in and get clothes for tomorrow. If I don’t stay and even if Katie kicks me out, I need to get her to agree to have Callie come over. I rub the back of my neck and walk along the pathway to the house. As I step through the front door and close it behind me, I’m not sure what to expect. When I turn the corner, I find Katie on the sofa, Lennon in her arms. It’s a sight that has come to mean the world to me, but tonight, realizing that Lennon is crying… it’s anything but.
“What happened to your hand?” Katie asks, worry written on her face, but there’s something else there, too—something that wasn’t there before Jeff came. I don’t know how to define it. I just know I don’t like seeing it.
I shrug, clearing my throat. Lennon looks at me and the anger and hate written on my son’s face is something I will never forget for as long as I live.
“I lost a fight with the barn wall. I’m going to go clean up and leave you two alone,” I mutter, feeling out of place. It’s hard to believe that until an hour or so ago I was starting to feel as if this place was my home—as if Katie and Lennon were my future. Now, fuck if I know what is going to happen next.
“Do you need help?” Katie asks, as I drag my gaze away from Lennon.
“No, it’s fine. I can deal with it. I was thinking I should call Callie and see if she can stay here tonight.”
“I…you’re leaving?” Katie says. Maybe it’s my imagination, but I’m almost positive I hear hurt in her voice. Does she want me to stay?
“I thought you would prefer it,” I answer, internally willing her to tell me she wouldn’t. She’s silent and just stares at me. “Am I wrong, Katie?”
“If you want to leave, Jake, you can.”
“What do you want, Katie?”
“I…” I hold my breath as I wait for her reply. “It’s getting too late to call Callie,” she finally says.
We both know it’s not. It’s not even dinner time. This is where I start breathing again—or at least it feels like I do.
“Do you still want to go out?” I murmur.
“Maybe another night,” she answers.
“Lennon? Would you like to help me fix supper? I could use a helper in the kitchen.”
“I don’t feel good,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna go to my room.”
He moves off his mother’s lap and jogs toward the hall. My heart squeezes in my chest, my hopes plummeting.