Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“I want this,” I murmured now against his lips, sliding my hands around to the small of his back and squeezing him. Words came out of me like a dam had broken, urgent and clear. “I want this all of the time, Kace. I’ve never felt like I feel around you—”
His arms tightened around me, and he leaned his head into the crook of my neck. “Don’t say things like that,” he whispered, and the depth of his voice only made me want him more. “You’re making me want more than I should want, and I don’t think you get that, Nathan.”
“I fucking want it, too,” I said, emphasizing every word. Heat was rising in me now, some sense of need that I couldn’t express.
Just then a voice rang out from behind me. “Nathan? Is that you?”
I pulled away from Kace immediately, flipping around to see who it was. Shawn was there, with Charlie close behind, and I moved away from Kace faster than lightning when I saw that the TV crew wasn’t far behind, either.
“I was, uh, just congratulating Kace on his show,” I said, clearing my throat. I smoothed out my hair and shirt, trying to look somewhat composed. Kace had a reputation to uphold, and I wasn’t about to let him get caught doing something with me if he didn’t want people to know about it. The last thing Kace needed right now was another public narrative about him that he couldn’t control.
“Tonight has been fucking awesome,” Charlie said. I thought for sure that Charlie must have seen what Kace and I had been doing, but he didn’t seem surprised. Had he already pieced together that the guy I’d been texting was Kace? He clearly was still on cloud nine from all the attention he’d been getting.
When I glanced back at Shawn, though, I wondered. Shawn had no idea. As far as I knew, he still thought I was one hundred percent straight, even though he had always been observant.
The moment hung, still, in the air between us.
“Right,” Kace said. His face was like a locked steel cage again, unreadable. “I’ve got to head back. You guys have a good night.”
Kace pushed past, heading back toward the pool. The cameras followed him and left the path.
My heart dropped immediately. He was upset, and this time, I knew it. This time, I wasn’t going to wait for days to find out what went wrong.
“We’re heading out,” Shawn was saying to me. “You coming with us, or staying here?”
There was definitely something charged in Shawn’s voice. He’d seen something. And miraculously, any part of me that still worried about what other people might think had just evaporated like water in the sun.
All I cared about at this moment was making sure Kace was okay.
“I’m staying,” I said, resolute. Words came out so easily it was almost surreal. “And I have to go find Kace again, because I have a massive crush on him, and I’m not quite sure if he knows that.”
Shawn’s face was blank for a moment. He didn’t know how to process what I’d just said, and I could tell.
“Crush?” was all he said, still looking like he was trying to piece together a puzzle.
“I’ve… I’ve always had some curiosity in me, even if I didn’t show it. Even if it wasn’t enough for me to ever do something about it,” I told my brother. “Kace reached in and yanked the curiosity right out. I really, really fucking like him, Shawn.”
“Holy shit, thank God,” Shawn said, the relief on his face so clear. “You have a crush. You like him.”
Charlie started to smile wide too. “Jax and I had thought through every possibility of who you might have been texting, and never once considered the fact that it could be him,” he said, marveling.
“You knew? Jax knew?” Shawn said, clearly hurt. “I’m your brother, Nathan.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t know, either.”
“Clearly you knew enough to tell Charlie and Jax,” he said. “God. I thought you might have been doing drugs with Kace, or something. You were acting all shady, that day you were here early with no car.”
I furrowed my brow. “Excuse me?”
Shawn shrugged animatedly, his eyes going wide. “You were so fucking weird with him,” he protested. “Sneaking around, pretending your car was getting detailed, always texting him.”
“He thought it was either cocaine or maybe some strange psychedelics,” Charlie offered.
“You thought I would be doing drugs?”
“I mean, Kace is famous,” Shawn said. “Famous people do wild things.”
I let out a sigh, rubbing at my temples. “I’m sorry, guys.”
Shawn wrapped his arms around me in a quick, tight hug. “I’m mad Charlie knew before me, but I know exactly how hard it is to admit something new to yourself and the people around you. I thought it was hard for me coming out in my twenties, and you’re a fucking old man.”