Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 119011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Zolt knew he deserved it, but Leo’s words still hurt more than he’d like to have let on. He didn’t have anything to say in his defense. “You’re not a sucker.”
“I am. I know what this is. I know what you’re about, and I just got… swept up in it. I’m not fucking fourteen. I should have known better.” Leo groaned and intensely rubbed one eye with the sleeve of his hoodie.
Zolt grabbed his wrist to stop it. “Don’t do that. It’s not good for eyes,” he said but let go the moment Leo flinched away as if Zolt’s touch burnt him.
“And you are not good for me. Period.”
Straight into Zolt’s chest. Well played.
“No. But I like you, even if I wasn’t very good at showing it earlier.”
“You were shit at showing it.” Leo shook his head and shoved another marshmallow into his mouth.
Zolt squeezed his hands together and watched him eat while bitterness pooled in his gut. “I know. And I want to apologize. I was angry at all of you but… you didn’t deserve what I did,” he said, shrugging to let out some of the painful tension in his shoulders. He was getting cold himself, so he could only imagine how Leo was feeling after hours under the thin blanket.
Leo bit his lip, and showed the cuts on his hands in a gesture so heartbreaking Zolt had to fight the urge to pull him closer. “I saved your fish tank, I cooled things down. I even cleaned up the worst of the mess. Yeah, you lost some money, but my little brother got shot. You shouldn’t have taken it out on me. Not the way you have.”
Zolt shuddered and hugged himself to retain more warmth. So typical. Here was a nice guy, open and trusting, someone whose company he genuinely enjoyed, and he’d managed to spoil it all in one evening. He could have stopped himself earlier, but instead he chose to just ride his anger and unleash his fury on the one person who didn’t deserve it.
“I didn’t… mean for things to go that way.”
Leo shook his head, hunching over the pack of candy, but there was no more aggression left in him, and that only twisted the knife of guilt into Zolt’s chest. “Then why did you do it? You barely got a couple of bruises from Kane, and I bet this wasn’t the first time someone pointed a gun at you, or your first robbery.”
Zolt took a deep breath, glancing at the light above the back door to the building. It beckoned him to leave the uncomfortable conversation and retreat back to his cave, but he owed Leo the truth.
“This place… it’s everything I have. It’s my future. I’m not like you. I don’t have family or friends to lean on. I’ve bet everything on this pawn shop, and if I lose too much, all my plans will be voided.”
“Don’t you have your buddies?” Leo asked with a deep sigh, but at least he wasn’t slurring anymore.
Zolt snarled. “Seriously? Would you have trusted any of them with a dog? They’re good for card games and drinking, but none of them are reliable. They’re not included in my plans.”
“What are your plans?”
Zolt stilled, struck that Leo wasn’t fishing for information. He wanted to know. Was it the forced proximity they lived in, or Leo’s personality, Zolt didn’t know, but Leo deserved the truth after all they’d been through together. What ultimately mattered was that Leo had accepted the crumbs of affection Zolt had given him, when he deserved so much more.
“I’ve had a hard life, and since I have nothing to tie me down, I want to spend the rest of it in comfort. Some day, I’m going to leave and settle on some paradise island where good life comes cheap.”
“That’s your grand plan? To live out your days on a beach? Nowhere is paradise if you’re alone.” And despite all the pain Zolt had caused him, Leo inched closer and draped half his blanket over Zolt’s shoulders. The gesture was so sweet he could almost taste Leo’s tongue on his lips.
“I won’t be alone. I’ll drink, and party, and fuck whoever I want until I get too old. And then bang—the end,” he said, making a gesture imitating a gun to the head, looking away from the soft eyes that gave him with understanding he didn’t deserve. He vaguely imagined his own blood on the sand. Maybe he should do it far away from land after all? Sea creatures would take care of his remains, and he didn’t want to inconvenience anybody with the mess.
Leo frowned. “Party and then kill yourself? Excuse me if I don’t see the appeal.”
Zolt shrugged. “What else is there? I don’t want to get old. I don’t want to fuck people who no longer want me, and I don’t want to get weaker with each passing year. It only makes sense.”