Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 94048 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94048 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
He groans and leans back against the counter, shaking his head with a massive grin. “Honey, I’m so pissed at you, but I was right. My god, I was right!” He throws his head back and howls, and I toss my hands in the air feeling absolutely disgusted.
“You really have gone insane. Simon, I hope you know a good psychiatrist, because we might need to institutionalize my father.”
Simon shrugs casually and stretches his legs. “Actually, it seems like your father is very, very lucid.”
“Bingo, totally lucid,” Dad says, snapping in the air. “Don’t you get it, sweetie? I thought I was losing my damn mind. I was terrified I was getting scammed again but the damn scam didn’t make any sense. They were sending me money instead of demanding it. I mean, what sort of backwards sonofabitch scammer sends money? I was going absolutely nuts trying to figure it out, and I was sure someone was trying to screw me, I just didn’t know how, until right now. I was right, I was getting scammed. Just by my own damn daughter!”
He cracks up again, bent double, and I check the stove just to make sure it’s not leaking gas. Simon’s grinning too, a delighted look on his face, and I’m just sick of this whole damn house. “You two are absolutely demented,” I say, even though part of me is happy that Dad doesn’t seem too pissed. I storm out of the room to give myself a little space while my father has a mental breakdown.
“No, honey, it’s okay,” Dad says, following me into the living room. “I’m just relieved. I was feeling really low for a while and thought maybe I was just a dumb rube, like anyone could just steal money from me and I’d go along with it, but this time I didn’t. I noticed things were strange and I was right. I think I get why you did it the way that you did, and I’m angry with you, but you gave me the chance to prove to myself that I’m no fool. I guess in some ways, I’m happy you did it.”
I shake my head, totally mystified, but I can see his reasoning. Last time, he only figured out the scam when it was way too late—and the scammers had all his money.
But this time, he saw through the tricks, didn’t trust a damn thing, and unraveled the entire mess.
“Gotta say, Mr. Hayes, that was some top-class detective work. The red string looks a little crazy, but you did a great job.” Simon stands in the doorway, arms crossed, looking smug and happy. “Not many people could’ve figured that mess out.”
“You went after the wrong paranoid old man,” Dad says, finally calming down. He sighs and rubs his face with both hands. “I’m mad at the two of you, don’t get me wrong, but I’m also grateful you did it.”
“Let’s call it even then,” Simon offers.
“We’ll see about that. And you should call me Richard, since you’re my son-in-law now.”
“Alright, Richard, thanks for that.”
I open my mouth to tell him that Simon’s not my husband anymore, but he gives me a sharp look, and I snap it shut. Instead, Simon and my dad head back into the kitchen, talking about the shape of the scam and going over all the different shell companies. Simon answers all of Dad’s questions, and the two of them get along like best buds as they sit at the table and eat grilled cheese.
Which is agonizing. I want Simon to get out of here, and I don’t want Dad to like him. If Simon gets along with my father, it’ll be harder to get divorced, and I don’t need more damn complications.
Too bad they seem like best buds. It’s absolutely infuriating.
“For a scammer, you’re not so bad,” Dad says, slapping Simon on the back. “I can see why my daughter married you. You’re a pretty decent guy.”
“Thanks, Richard. You’re okay yourself. I should hire you to help me put together shell corporations since you’re such an expert on it.”
Dad howls with delight. “Happy to consult at a hundred bucks an hour.”
Simon’s eyes sparkle with mischief. “How about two thousand an hour?”
“Hired.” Dad shakes Simon’s hand. “Let me know when I start.” Dad stomps off, mumbling about taking down his crazy wall and needing a nap, leaving me alone with my husband as he scrubs up the remains of lunch.
What the hell just happened?
Dad was supposed to be pissed at us. Instead, he just accepted some definitely fake job at an obscene hourly rate and seems to think that’s totally normal. Simon’s looking smug as he hangs the dish towel up and puts the frying pan away.
“You wanna talk now?” he asks, eyeing me with an absolutely maddening grin.
“I want you to go home. What were you thinking, getting close to my dad?”