Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 128260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
A feeling that I hadn’t felt in a really damn long time slithered its way through my guts—shame. Yes, shame that I’d participated in the sex trade—that was still there. But mostly, shame that she’d watched me doing it. Watched me perform an act publicly that we’d experienced personally. Had she wondered if what we’d done contained some elements of acting too? Or had she realized that the intimacy we shared was something completely different? Sometimes I didn’t even like to think about how I’d approached having sex on camera for money. That person felt so far away… And I hated that I was confronting him now in front of Grace who I wanted to see me as the man I currently was, not the one she’d walked away from.
I rubbed my jaw. Yes, that life felt so far away, so distant from who I was now. But Grace didn’t necessarily see it that way.
“Hey,” she said, leaning her head to the side to get my attention. I turned back toward her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you that. It was so long ago, and—”
“Why did you do it?” I asked, needing to know.
She paused. “At the time, I guess I just needed a reminder about why I shouldn’t contact you,” she said. “And then when I… when I saw it… I realized that what we’d done… what that weekend was about, was different. You were real with me. It made me miss you more,” she said.
I let out a harsh exhale of relief. She’d known. And I hated that she’d seen me with anyone else, but… she’d known.
“I missed you too, Grace,” I said. It felt like there was so much more to say, but we were skating a thin line here, and I had to be mindful of that too.
She smiled sadly and opened her mouth to say something when a collective “oooh” sounded from the group around us and the water show started.
We stood watching it for several minutes and then I moved closer to Grace, our sides barely touching, but the heat of her felt like it was scorching me, moving through me, taking over. I was itching to move behind her and hold her in my arms like I had the last time we were here. And then I wanted to take her back to my house and—I slammed the brakes on that line of thought. It was only going to lead to pain on several different levels, most notably at the moment, a serious case of blue balls.
She looked up at me and our eyes met, that same old electricity passing between us. She swallowed. “We should go,” she said.
“It’s not over,” I said back quietly.
Our gazes locked and her lips parted slightly. “Huh?” she asked.
I gestured my head toward the water. “The show,” I said quietly.
She blinked as if coming out of a trance. “Oh. Well I…I work early. I should…get home…”
I cleared my throat. “Okay,” I said, turning and leading her through the light crowd of people still watching the water.
We walked back to my truck, and I held the door open for her and took her hand to help her climb inside. Another rush of warmth passed through our hands and she glanced down at me quickly before pulling her hand away.
I exited the garage and started driving back toward Summerlin. We were both quiet, thinking our own thoughts. The lines of Grace’s body looked tense in my peripheral vision. It was clear that we still had the same chemistry we’d had the last time we were together. I wanted to see her again. But how was that supposed to happen exactly? I hadn’t asked a lot about her fiancé, but I figured although he might accept one dinner out with an “old friend,” he’d probably question two. He’d also probably frown upon me kissing his fiancé up against the door of her house when I dropped her off. But I had gotten a few signals that, fiancé or not, Grace might not be completely opposed to that—at least not physically. I was remembering how she felt, how she tasted. Need was pumping through my blood and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
As I pulled in to Summerlin, I glanced at Grace and she was chewing on her lip again. “What are you thinking?” I asked. As our time together was coming to a close, the mood between us had shifted.
“It’s probably better if we don’t see each other again,” she said, twisting her ring.
“Better for whom?” I asked, a mixture of anger and fear filling my chest.
Her head snapped up. I could just make out her tense facial expression in the dark cab. I pulled up in front of her house and kept the engine idling.
“Better for me,” she said. “Spending time with you tonight, it’s brought up…” She trailed off.