Total pages in book: 158
Estimated words: 160732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 804(@200wpm)___ 643(@250wpm)___ 536(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 160732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 804(@200wpm)___ 643(@250wpm)___ 536(@300wpm)
Eventually, I got down to business.
Then Buck took over.
33
Family
I was dead asleep when Buck shook my hip.
I opened my eyes to see it was still dark.
I did this also to a sleepy feeling of surprise that Buck was ready to go again.
Needless to say, the kids imminently going to be living with us, me asking Buck to share about his life, us knowing what we were to each other, we’d celebrated.
Energetically.
And this was on top of an emotional day where we’d celebrated (energetically) on and off all day.
I turned to him and he whispered, “Baby, I’m sorry. But it’s happening.”
I didn’t like his tone.
And I didn’t understand his words.
“What’s happening?”
“He’s slippin’ away.”
It was then, I understood.
Oh God.
“You were in with him,” he kept speaking. “Talked to ’em, told ’em to call when it came time. They called. You wanna be with him?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Get dressed.” He paused then his voice was weighty when he said, “Hurry.”
I got out one side, Buck got out the other, and I hurried.
Even if I hurried, Buck was dressed and out of the room before me.
And by the time I followed him, I saw the lamp by the couch lit, Buck at the door, and Gear was with him.
Dressed and ready to go.
I looked to Gear then to Buck.
“West—”
“Gotta wait for Tat. She’s hurryin’,” he said.
I made it to him and whispered. “I don’t—”
“Family,” he grunted a grunt that said I need not reply.
I gave up on him and turned to Gear.
“You don’t have—”
“No way, Clara. No way you’re doin’ this without Dad and me and Tat,” he declared.
I shut up.
Tatie dashed out of her room hopping, still pulling on a boot.
“Ready, ready…I’m ready,” she said.
Buck had planned all this.
He’d told them.
Prepared them.
And when it was time, they were ready.
We walked to Buck’s SUV.
But for my part, I did it with difficulty because Buck’s arm was so tight around my neck, Tatie had a death grip with both hands on my biceps, and Gear was crowding Tatie.
We got in the car, Buck started us on our way, and then he tossed his phone in the back seat to the kids.
“Don’t care which one of you do it but get on the line with Tia and then call Mrs. Jimenez,” he ordered.
I turned my head to him.
“Buck—”
I again got no more out.
“You think those two women will ever forgive me if I let you do this without them?”
Well, putting it that way.
I didn’t answer.
“Right,” he muttered.
“Yeah, hi, is this Tia?” Gear asked from the back seat.
I stared out the windshield.
“We’ll get there, babe,” Buck assured.
“Yes,” I whispered.
He took my hand and held it.
He drove.
Gear’s voice came from the back seat.
And Buck got us there.
* * *
“I di-didn’t think, you…you’d—”
“Quiet,” I whispered to Rogan.
His parents were across the bed from me, as well as his sister.
They all looked immensely sad,
I’d liked them. They’d liked me. I’d missed them. And from the looks on their faces when they saw me, they’d missed me.
There had been no bad blood, they understood.
But I’d left them when I left him because I’d had to leave it all behind me.
“I’m sorry,” Rogan said.
“Stop it,” I said.
His eyes went to his mom. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop it, honey,” she whispered, her voice catching.
He looked to his dad.
His father made a noise I never wanted to hear again in my whole life.
Before he carried on with this, I leaned over and touched Rogan’s face.
He turned his gaze to me.
“That’s not how Rogan Kirk goes out,” I told him. “The man who was so handsome, I found it hard to breathe, just looking at him.”
“Clara.”
His voice was so weak.
So weak.
“My first love,” I went on.
He closed his eyes.
“You asked me if I loved you, but you didn’t notice I didn’t have to ask if you loved me.”
He opened his eyes.
“I always knew, Rogan. You never let me doubt it.”
“The women—”
“Stop it,” I hissed.
He shut up.
“Our wedding day, do you remember?” I asked.
“Yes.”
God.
His voice was getting weaker.
“You trying to get to me, and Tia was barring the door, shouting about how a groom isn’t supposed to see the bride,” I continued.
His eyes closed.
His lips curved.
“But you got in, didn’t you? Nothing could keep you from me.”
“So beautiful,” he whispered.
“Yes, that’s what I thought about you. And then I tripped during our first dance.”
His lips stayed curved.
“You caught me and laughed so hard and held me close through the rest of the song, just swaying.”
His lips stayed curved.
“Whispering in my ear what a klutz I was and how cute you thought it was.”
His lips stayed curved.
“I loved you, Rogan.”
“Loved…me.”
The words drifted.
“I loved you so much, Rogan.”
His lips were still curved.
“I loved that you loved me.”
His lips remained curved.
“I loved how much you loved me.”
His lips stayed curved.
“Sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry,” a woman said quietly. “He’s gone.”
His mother’s sob tore through the room.