Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 54645 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 273(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54645 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 273(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
Tears spill down my cheeks as I hold him tight, keep him close. My brother, my lover, my everything. “I love you, too. With all my heart.”
“I have to love you, you hear me? This love for you, it doesn’t let me sleep. It doesn’t let me breathe. But I can’t fucking live without it.” He takes a deep breath, his chest filling out the gray t-shirt with the word SEAL in faded navy ink. “Do you get that?”
“Yes,” I say, just a whisper. “I always have.”
“Sometimes I wish it didn’t exist. Sometimes I can’t imagine life without it. But you’re it for me. And you have been for all my life”
His words hit me like a crashing tidal wave. To have him say it, to hear it in his voice without hesitation, it’s as real as the breath filling my lungs.
He releases his grip on the back of my neck and pulls me down on his lap, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I need to know, right fucking now, if you are in this as deep as me.”
I wrap my arms around him, inhaling his warmth, his musky familiar scent. “You know I am.”
He growls at me, like he isn’t finished. “I’ve danced around this for years. But being home, finally touching you, finally being inside you. I can’t fucking undo this. And if you aren’t ready, then I’ll accept that. No regrets. But if you’re in, I need to hear you say it.”
My heart tumbles in my chest, like a runaway train. Everything has come down to this moment.
About him, I am sure. Sure as anything I’ve ever known. But I also know that this thing between us, it may be simple. But it’s also the ultimate taboo. “What will we tell people?”
“I don’t give a single fuck about anybody else.”
My gasp comes out as a laugh. “I know you don’t.” I sniffle away my tears and lower my head against his shoulder. “I know.”
He rubs my back gently, tracing my every curve and valley. “I’m lost in you like I’ve never been lost in anything before. And I can’t take another breath without knowing, without total fucking certainty, that you are in as deep as me.”
Deep as the deepest ocean. There is no love deeper than this. “I am, Trent. I am.”
His body softens, ever so slightly, and his embrace becomes warmer and more protective. Heat radiates from his body into mine, pulling me into him like a powerful force field.
He tips me back slightly so I’m able to look him in the eye. I watch the pulse in his neck pound as he shifts slightly, placing his thumb on my chin and staring deep into my eyes.
“I’ll always love you. I’ll always be here. But what happens next depends on you.”
Looking into his eyes, I see the face of that handsome teenager he used to be, leaning in through my doorway. The face that was always there when I needed it most. To defend me. To love me. To protect me.
How many women in the world have a love like this? This history. This loyalty. This quiver in their belly?
“I’m here. I love you. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. As long as you’ve loved me, I’ve loved you. That will never, ever change.”
He nods, grim but pleased. “Good. So now listen. And listen close.” His fingers slide down the small of my back and he grips my hips and ass with his huge hands. “I need you to stay right here. In this room. Until I get back. No fucking bullshit. No grocery store runs. Luke and Edward are going to stay and keep you safe, but I gotta go out for a while. While I’m gone, you don’t fucking leave this room. You stay away from the windows, you don’t even so much as think about going outside.”
A deep pulse of terror rips through my stomach, through my heart. “Okay.”
“Good. Because I need you to realize that your life—that my life—depends on your being safe for the next little while.”
I look into his eyes, seeing that dangerous fire again. “I know.”
“For me to do what needs to be done, I need to know that you are completely safe.”
I nod, pushing my trembling lips together to keep the tears at bay. But it’s no use. I am a mess of tears and sobs. This isn’t about punishing a schoolyard bully; this is about life. And death. “That’s why I didn’t tell you before. When you were away.”
“Stop that. Stop it. Shhh. I know,” he says, calmly and firmly. Not angry now. Just pure Trent. “I fucking get it. But now I’m home. And now you’ve told me. You did great, baby girl.”
Did I? All those terrified nights. All those secrets. All those Skype calls when I told him I was fine, everything was fine, when it was just the opposite. I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive myself for keeping so many secrets from him for so long.