Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 26557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 106(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 133(@200wpm)___ 106(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
“Fucking right, it wasn’t,” I agree.
Davis set up this marriage with Lilith Sparrow, Lennie’s mom. The beautiful, but troubled, former shining star of blockbuster Hollywood. Only, she had demons. Oxy and alcohol and whatever else she got her hands on.
She was clean and Davis wanted to revive her career. We sat here drinking scotch when he called in his favor. Marry Lilith, all PR, all set up. One year. Huge pre-nup, all details in a contract. He guaranteed it would get her the starring role in the movie of the year and it did.
She rose like cream after the wedding. All was right with the world. We settled in together with Lennie and it felt like family. We were six months in and Lilith started having trouble breathing. Sixty days later, I stood next to Lennie at her funeral with promises made and a sixteen-year-old to raise and no fucking idea how to do that.
I’ve tried to keep my distance. I can’t fucking let her touch me. But lately, she’s been pushing. Brushing against me, touching my hand when I make her morning tea. If she knew what those little touches do to me, she’d run into the fucking Hollywood hills and never look back.
She’s nineteen now and I’m thirty nine and my dick has been hard since the day she became legal. Before that, I don’t know how I kept it together, sheer stubborn will. The voice of my mother, the only real grounding force in my life, always telling me there are some wrongs that can’t be explained away. There are some wrongs, even if no one else knows, will destroy you.
Where the fuck is Lennie? Ten minutes in this place, anything could happen. Why did I let down my guard and give her some rope?
I shift forward to stand, adjusting myself because my erection is throbbing, but Davis reaches over and grabs my forearm. “Let her be for ten fucking minutes, man. I get it. I see. You take your responsibility seriously but she needs to grow up.”
From my vantage point at the glass table, with Davis across from me, I have a panoramic view of this glass house. I’ve always been hyper aware of my surroundings. I should have been in the military but I took a different route.
Motorcycles and acting. I dabbled in a few organized bike clubs but the hierarchy and politics didn’t suit me. Acting was more politics and other shit that didn’t feel right. I started to represent a few up and coming talents and I found my niche. I was hella convincing and a hard ass negotiator. I had an eye for the x-factor, the it-girl or guy for the moment, and those first few solid contracts I landed propelled me to where I am today.
Truth is, I wasn’t sure what exactly suited me until Lennie tiptoed into my life. I’ve never been in love. Not even close. Not until I let my feelings surface for Lennie when I felt like I wasn’t being a perverted degenerate.
I didn’t meet her until after the full on, PR set up wedding was over. That was a fucking mistake. If I had met her before, I never would have gone through with it.
I would have waited for her. Fuck, the waiting has nearly killed me but I’m nothing if not a stubborn motherfucker.
Her eighteenth birthday was my coming out party of sorts. I’d been in a daze for the year before. Both marrying Lilith and meeting Lennie, and then, fuck all, Lilith getting sick and passing away.
I catch sight of her light blue button up blouse, her signature black ribbon tied in a bow under the button down collar. She thinks those khaki pants and blue shirts she wears whenever she leaves the house make her somehow unattractive. Her curves belong on some old Hollywood pin up poster and they’ve only become more sinful as the years have gone on.
Fuck, she takes my breath away. In all my years in this industry, there’s never been a woman more beautiful. Nearly white blonde, with self-cut bangs and a bob, red lips and skin so white, she’s the embodiment of purity. She’s naive and unaware in so many ways. Bubbly one second like a wind-up toy, then, click, and she’s all dark poetry with wisdom beyond her years.
But, one thing remains the same.
She’s mine. Those first years, I told myself it was an obligation. Paternal instinct. Fuck, I’ve never had a paternal instinct in my life.
Until Lennie.
She awoke instincts hidden for millennia in my DNA. I’m a fucking caveman, possessive, sick, twisted guardian to my stepdaughter. I worked out until I damn near killed myself, trying to not think of her in any way other than what society deemed appropriate.
I punched walls.
I threw any fucking asshole that gave her a second look onto his ass.