Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
I care about what Renzo thinks. He has the power to take my family away from me. If he declares me an enemy, every one of my brothers and the full organization will treat me like I’m dead. Or they’ll try to put a bullet in my head. Renzo can destroy me, all because he’s the damn Don, and I’m just his brother, underboss or not. The world revolves around him.
I knock then open the door without waiting for him to call for me. I step into his office and hesitate. Gian’s sitting on a couch against the far wall while Carlo’s got his legs stretched out in front of him, a glass of whiskey in his hand. Renzo’s behind the desk, looking very unhappy.
My brothers look at me as I walk into the room. Gian says nothing and his face is impossible to read. That guy’s better than anyone I’ve ever met at keeping his feelings hidden.
“Alright, the party’s here,” Carlo says, hopping to his feet. He walks over and gives me a fist bump. “You good, bro?”
“I’m good,” I say, giving him a nod. Carlo grins in response, but I’m looking past him, over toward Renzo.
“Get in here.” The Don doesn’t sound happy. “We have to talk.”
I shut the door behind me and walk over, but I don’t sit. Carlo joins Gian on the couch, the two of them bickering about who gets more leg room. Renzo silences the pair with an annoyed stare before turning his gaze back on me. I wish the peanut fucking gallery wasn’t here for this, but maybe it’s better. We can get this all out in the open.
“How long?” Renzo asks.
“A few weeks.”
“When I asked you to marry the Milano girl?”
“I turned you down because I was already married.”
He grunts and leans back. “You lied to me.”
“Yes.” No reason denying it. I could argue that I only kept Molly from him and didn’t actively lie, but that’s splitting hairs, and I’m not going to take the coward’s way out.
I’ll own this.
Because I’m not ashamed.
“Then you’re dead to me.” Renzo’s voice is steady, but his words are like fire. I take a step back, surprised at how quickly he decided to write me off. No discussion, no argument, nothing.
“Bro,” Carlo says, sounding surprised. “Renzo, the fuck?”
But Renzo silences him with a hand. “You lied to me. You married an Irish girl without telling anyone. You got her pregnant and you hid her like a fucking rat. Our family is built on trust and loyalty, and you showed that not only are you willing to break both of those bonds, but you don’t believe your own brothers are worthy of them. You are dead to me, and because I am the Rossi Famiglia, you are dead to the Rossi Famiglia.”
“Renzo,” Gian says now, half standing, but Renzo silences him with a snarl.
“Shut the fuck up, both of you.” He turns his gaze back to me, and I finally see the man behind the Don’s mask. “You hurt me. I made you my underboss because of everyone in this fucking organization, I thought you understood. The Famiglia asks for everything, and it fucking gets everything. I thought we were in this together, but I was wrong.”
My fingers twitch. They feel numb. I shift my weight and stretch my neck. I feel like I’m going to crumble, like I’m going to crack and break. This is the worst-case scenario. This is everything I was afraid might happen.
“I love her,” I tell him. That makes his head cock to the side. I push forward. “This isn’t some fling. I didn’t marry her out of obligation or honor. I married her because I love her, and I’m staying with her because I love her. I kept her from you because I knew you couldn’t accept her, and I also knew that if you made me choose, I’d choose her, and I didn’t want to have to go there yet.”
“You should have been honest with me. At least then we could have discussed this like men.”
“No, Renzo, because there’s no discussion with you. Maybe with my brother, but not with the Don.”
“There’s no difference anymore.”
I step forward and spread my arms. I tilt my chin up, showing him my throat. “I’ve given everything to you,” I say and feel like my chest has been ripped open. If I could slap my bloody, bleeding heart on his desk, I would. “You know that. Those two fucks call me the hero, like the goddamn gym class hero, because of how hard I’ve tried to be perfect for this family. I’ve killed myself my entire life, first for Dad, and then for you. This family is everything to me.”
Renzo’s expression doesn’t change. The pressure of my whole life shoves down on my shoulders. Everything I’ve done, all the sacrifices I’ve made, they’re right here in the room with me. I can see them like ghosts. Some haunt, some mock, some make me want to shrivel with shame, but I’d do them all over again if given the choice.