Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91925 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91925 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
“Everything okay?” she calls from across the room.
I force a smile on my lips before I turn to her. “Yeah, baby. Everything’s fine. Come shower with me, and I’ll start dinner after.”
“It’s my turn. I’m making your favorite,” she says with a happy grin.
Again, the desire to have this always hits so strong my heart skips a beat. I move across the room to scoop her up in my arms. My back pinches a little reminding me of the bullet that entered my body.
I shove back all the things that come with that reminder. I want to remain in this bubble for as long as I can. If I let that world back in, I could lose this one. That’s not an option.
“I love when you cook for me. Just so you know, I’m having you for dessert.”
That crazy laugh rings out, and my chest swells. God, I love this woman so much.
CHAPTER 36
Commitment
Reminisce
Again, he’s looking at me with such an intense gaze. I can’t help wondering what’s on his mind. I snuggle closer to him in the bed.
I’m going to enjoy this last day. Tomorrow morning this time I have to return to my real life. The office is calling, and I have to answer.
“What?” I ask reaching to caress his stubbled jaw.
“Do you ever envy Saga and Legend?” he says thoughtfully.
I freeze. I envy my sister and brother more than I should. I want what they have.
“Yeah, I do,” I whisper.
He reaches for my fingers and holds our hands in the air together. He stares at our intertwined fingers. My hand is so small wrapped in his. After a few moments, he brings my fingers to his lips.
“I didn’t think I wanted all of that. Now, at thirty-three, I do. It feels like something’s missing.”
I swallow nervously. I want children and a husband, but I don’t want to fear becoming a widow or my children becoming fatherless. Yet … I love this man and the sight of our palms pressed together makes me want those things with him.
“Do you think … would that mean you want a lifestyle change as well?” I ask shakily.
He swallows hard, shifting his gaze to mine. He nods. “Yeah, I just don’t know where I want to go from here. I’m no singer or painter. I’m too impatient for that shit Lord is into.”
I laugh, but I think over his words too. My brows draw.
“But you’d never be happy doing nothing. I know you have the means to do whatever you want with your time, but that’s not you. You need to do something,” I say thoughtfully.
“I need to make a difference. It’s not just doing something. It’s making a difference in the world.”
“Being a cop makes you feel like you’re making a difference.” I make the statement more so for me. I’m trying to see this from his eyes. Maybe if I can understand why he’s so willing to put his life on the line, I’ll find a way to accept it.
For Knight, his job is a part of him. I don’t want to take that away from him. I just don’t know how to handle it when I’ve been up close and personal with the results and consequences.
“As a kid, everything I wanted was handed to me. As the youngest, I was spoiled and pampered all my life. When I got to college and started making friends outside of my usual circle, it hit me that not everyone lived that way.
“I was entitled and that annoyed me. There were kids smarter than me who didn’t have things as easy. Then, a girl I’d been friends with was raped at a party.
“Everyone knew who did it, but he got away with it because of his family, their friends, and their money. The shit that circled her rape … it was a game to him and his buddies. I wanted to be a cop from the day I found out he was just going to get a slap on the wrist.
“She tried to hang herself that day. She was a sweet girl. Her smile was bright, and she was friendly to everyone. I wanted to make sure that bad guys could never hurt girls like her,” he says.
I swipe at my tears with the back of my free hand. I should’ve known there was a noble reason behind him wanting to be a cop. It all makes sense.
“Your parents gave you the perfect name. You are a knight in shining armor,” I say, only slightly teasing.
He snorts. “I wouldn’t go that far. I try to do what I think is right. Sometimes those lines blur.” He takes a pause. “I think this time the lines may have blurred. I believe something different than what they want me to, and I’m not willing to see it any other way.”