Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 80304 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 402(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80304 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 402(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
I don’t know how or when, but this woman has quickly become someone who sits at the top of my list as far as importance in my life. I don’t know what it means, but I have time to figure that out. She’s not ready, and I need to work through these intense feelings I have for her. I need to dissect them and understand them before I give them to her. She deserves that. She deserves my certainty. While I feel certain, I need to take extra caution with her heart.
“Thank you, baby. Thank you for sharing a piece of your past with me.” Tears well in her eyes. “I want more of them. More of your firsts. When you’re ready to share them with me, I’m ready for them.”
“Rush.”
“I’m not pushing you. I promise. I listen when you talk, Crosby. I know that you don’t want to be attached. I know you’re afraid that you might not be here in a year, and that’s okay. I can’t take those fears from you, but I can be here. Right here. Every day, every laugh, every tear,” I say, using my thumbs to wipe the tears that fall from her eyes. “I’m here for them. You set the pace.” I give her a gentle smile. “I’ll just be over here falling more each day.” I wink and lean in. My intention is to place a kiss on the corner of her mouth, but she turns her head just slightly, and our lips connect. I don’t move or take the kiss deeper. I just rest my lips against hers. It literally causes a pain deep in my chest to pull away from her, but I won’t be that guy. I won’t take more than she’s willing to give.
Just the insight she’s given me this morning tells me she’s scared. She’s never been able to depend on or rely on anyone, and I’m going to show her that she can. “Eat up. We have to be at Declan’s in thirty minutes. Brooks and Palmer are going to drop Remi off.”
She nods, picks up her fork, and begins to eat.
When we pull into Declan and Kennedy’s driveway, Brooks and Palmer are already there. We’re early, so it wouldn’t surprise me if they’ve been here for a while. I’m sure Crosby and I are the topic of conversation. I love my brothers, but sometimes they annoy the hell out of me. They mean well, which is why I’m not going to say anything. I just hope whatever conclusion they came up with during this little pow-wow they’ve had today, they keep it to themselves or at least don’t bring it up in front of Crosby. I’m trying to pull her in, not push her away.
With my hand on the small of her back, I lead Crosby into Declan’s house. “Miss Crosby Greene!” Blakely comes running and wraps her arms around Crosby’s legs.
“Hey, Blakely. Just Crosby when we’re not at school.”
“Crosby. Got it. Did you hear that I have a new baby cousin? So many cousins.” She smiles up at Crosby.
“I did hear that. You are going to have so much fun teaching them so many things.”
Blakely nods. “That’s what Mommy says too.”
“You got some love for Uncle Rush?” I ask my niece.
“He’s so needy,” Blakely says, but she releases her clutch on Crosby and holds her arms in the air for me to pick her up, and I do just that. I squeeze her tight, and she giggles.
“Come on in,” Kennedy tells Crosby. “I’ll show you where everything is. I set up the Pack ’n Play for Remi in Beck’s room.”
“Blake, I’ll be right back. I need to go help Crosby.”
“No. It’s fine. You stay. I can relay whatever it is.” Crosby gives me a reassuring smile and follows Palmer and Kennedy down the hallway with Blakely hot on their heels.
I watch her go, wishing that I was following along behind her. It’s not until Brooks starts singing the chorus to “Another One Bites the Dust” that I pull my eyes from Crosby to face my brothers. “Cute,” I say, deadpan.
“What’s going on there? We didn’t expect to see you at the hospital with her this morning.”
“I called her. She’s gotten close to your wives. I thought she’d want to be there.” It’s only the partial truth, and we all know it.
“That look.” Brooks points to my face. “Tells us that’s not all.”
“Fine. That’s not all, but I don’t know what it is. She’s had a rough past, and she’s scared, and that just makes me want to pull her closer. She’s got me at arm’s length.”
“Is she okay?” Declan asks.
“What do we need to do?” Brooks adds.
“She’s good. Now. She’s made it to this point in her life all on her own. I don’t want to get into it yet, but I will. Not now, when she can walk out at any minute and hear me.”