Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
When we pull into the driveway, he turns off the ignition and climbs out of the car. I’m exhausted from staying up late and getting up at the ass crack of dawn today. I didn’t sleep much, knowing what tonight was going to bring.
My heart races and my hands tremble slightly as he pulls open my door. As soon as I’m on my feet, I wrap my arms around him, holding him with everything I’ve got. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop the tears from rolling. My body trembles from the pain of knowing what I’m about to do.
“Hey.” Merrick rubs my back while he holds me close, being the incredible man he is as he tries to comfort me. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
I open my mouth to speak, but I can’t do it. I can’t find the words. I want to tell him I’m in love with him. I want to tell him my heart is broken because he’s not going to be mine. I want to tell him I’m going to miss these hugs and his kisses. I’m going to miss his touch, and I’m certain I’ll crave only him every day for the rest of my life.
“Talk to me, Court. What’s going on?”
I have to do this.
Clearing my throat, I pull out of his hold and wipe my eyes. “I didn’t expect this, Merrick. I didn’t think I would feel like this when I had to let you go.”
“Let me go? Courtney, what are you talking about?” He reaches for me, but I step back out of his reach.
“The wedding is over. We said that we’d part ways after the wedding.” I can’t stop crying. He reaches his arm out for me to take his hand, and I so badly want to take it. I want to let him hold me and tell me this isn’t happening, but that’s not the way life works. We don’t always get what we want.
“Baby, that was months ago.”
“I know!” I yell. “I know it was months ago. I know that this is all on me.” My voice quiets. “I know my lies started this, and I have no one to blame for this pain but me.”
“Stop.” His voice is loud and stern. “Come inside. We’ll talk about this.”
“I—I can’t. Can you not see what this is doing to me? It’s killing me to have to walk away from you, Merrick Kincaid. My heart is being ripped in two, but you didn’t sign up for this. You did everything you said that you would do. Now, it’s my turn to keep my word. I told you after the wedding, we could walk away.”
“I’m not letting you walk away from me.”
I smile sadly. “You’re a good man, Merrick. I’m sorry I can’t control my emotions. I’m a big girl. I promise you, I’ll be fine.”
“Fuck that.” He lunges for me, and before I can get away, he’s tossing me over his shoulder in a firefighter’s hold. He kicks the door of the SUV closed and marches toward the front door of his house.
I don’t fight him.
I don’t have any fight left in me. The pain in my chest is too much. I’ll let him say what he wants to say, and then he’ll let me go.
Closing my eyes, I will myself to be strong enough to have this conversation. I need to control my emotions. He carries me into the house and places me on the couch. I keep my eyes closed because being here hurts.
Losing him hurts.
“Baby, I need you to open those big brown eyes for me.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“You can. Please, open them for me.”
Pulling in a deep breath, I slowly exhale before opening my eyes. I blink a few times, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing. The room is cast in a soft glow. There are what appear to be hundreds of flameless candles placed throughout the room.
“What?” I ask, my eyes seeking his before mine bounce back around the room. There are several bouquets of flowers all around the living room.
Not just flowers.
Roses.
Red roses.
The flower of love.
A sob catches in my throat.
“I see now that waiting to tell you what you mean to me wasn’t the best plan.”
“What do I mean to you?” I ask, because I’m struggling to process what’s happening.
All of this is for me?
“I’ve known for a while now that you’re special to me. I’ve wanted to tell you so many times. Last weekend, when we made love, I wanted to scream it to anyone who would listen, that I’m madly and irrevocably in love with you.”
“You—You love me?”
His palm rests against my cheek as he tries to catch my tears with his thumb. “Yeah, baby. I love you. My heart beats for you. I wanted to tell you, and I almost did, but I was afraid you would think it was the moment that had the words leaving my lips. Then, when we took a bath together, I almost did it then. It wasn’t until I was holding you long after you’d fallen asleep that I decided I would tell you tonight.”