Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
I let out a deep breath.
"You know I’d hate to see what would’ve happened if all these people were with us the night we walked through Central Park, or in the armor room at the Met." I try to lighten my mood with a joke, but his face remains stern.
“I lucked out that night, Elle," he sighs. "That was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that and we have to be more careful.”
I swallow the lump that immediately forms in my throat.
Mistake is definitely not the word that comes to mind when I think about that night.
17
In The Shadows
December
Asher's visits are growing farther apart. I've seen him once since going to LA, and even that was three weeks ago.
There's no doubt about it, LA changed things.
Part of me regrets pushing to go. The other part knows it had to happen. I needed to see what it was like when we weren't in our bubble.
In hindsight I get why he didn't want me there.
He already knew.
"Elle? You still there?"
"Yeah, sorry," I clear my throat.
"I was saying of course I planned on spending the holidays together."
"Right," I snap out of it. "Have I mention that I’m Jewish?"
He lets out a low laugh. "Kind of gathered that based on the menorah I saw at your house," he chuckles. "And the fact that you don’t have a Christmas tree. And that your Mum’s name is Yetta."
"It's a family name."
"Nevertheless."
"We have this big party on the last night."
"Oh."
Pre-LA, Asher would have never responded with that.
"Yeah," I stop and clear my throat. "Plus all my family comes. Aunts, uncles, cousins..."
"Absolutely not." A voice suddenly interjects.
"Mona," Asher hisses.
"Asher?" I gasp. "Are our phone calls being listened to now too?" I don't mean for my tone to sound so harsh and attacking. I'm still bitter about what transpired at the Hollywood Sign.
The Night Everything Changed. The night I was hit with the fact that he forever stays Asher and I'll always remain in the shadows.
"No." I hear him move into another room. "No," he repeats as a door slams. "Sorry, I had you on speaker and she walked in." But before I can respond I hear that damn door open again. The many voices are muffled, but I make out the words, agreements and NDA's and sales and image.
He hesitates. "Look, I should probably go."
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah, sorry. I'll call you later..."
I don't say anything before hanging up.
I have to get used to this side of him. The side he no longer hides since LA. This is the way things are. It's not like the fantasy world we had been living in before. Asher lets those who only see dollar signs influence his life, and no matter how badly he wants to be in a normal relationship with someone like me, he can't. I always knew that.
When he calls back later that evening things aren't any better. He says he's allowed to come to my family's party as long as everyone signs something that basically says they never saw him there. Then he invites me to his upcoming album release event.
It feels forced. Like he's trying to make up for the way things are. But it's not in any way I think the Asher I know would. It's more like his manager or someone said, invite her to this exclusive party. Even though I'll just be invisible there. But of course someone like me is expected to think even being at event like that is so cool.
But the Asher I thought I knew doesn't care about parties. The Asher I thought I knew cared more about things like randomly showing up on that Fourth of July.
Maybe we're both just trying to be people we're not.
Maybe I was never cut out to have this sort of extra-ordinary life.
A few days later I'm heading to Jess's after work. She's been studying for finals and begging for a break.
Truthfully I could use one too.
My town car waits outside, looking totally out of place in her neighborhood.
"Does he want to come in?" Jess stares out the window.
"Smith? No." I shake my head. "He likes standing next to his car and observing."
"Does he do that the entire time?"
"Pretty much," I shrug. "Sometimes he goes inside the car too."
"Scandalous."
I laugh.
"So Asher pays him to take you wherever you want?"
"Yep."
"Weird."
"I know."
"Speaking of Asher, I just got this delivered." She picks up an Express mailer and takes out a packet of papers. "I may not speak of or about... without ramifications... including but not limited to..."
I'm so mad I only pick up bits and pieces of what she reads. I'm two seconds away from calling Asher and demanding to know how his lawyers got my best friend's address. When I spoke to him last night we were still going over what it would involve to have him around my extended family for the holidays. Nothing was mentioned about Jess and no personal details were exchanged for anyone.