Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
"I thought we were-"
"We were," he sighs. "I should have said something. After all we’ve talked about with trust,” he sighs. “I know how you are. I understand it. You have to believe that this is nothing more than a business arrangement to me. I knew when it started eating me up inside it meant I should tell you. It didn't feel right. I didn't mean for it to-"
"No you can stop there. You're right. You should have said something."
"I messed up."
Look at the pinch. Look at the pinch!
I should tell him I have to go because this whole conversation sucks. But I know I have to force myself through it. It had to happen sooner or later. We had gotten too close.
"I think it was more me," I sigh. "Blindsided. Friends probably don't get this upset to find out things like this."
In my head it should be fine. We're fine. We'll stay friends and it'll be okay, only I know we can't and we won't. Not at all. I could never be just his friend. I'll keep falling, wishing things were different. I'll get obsessed.
Soon I won't know how to move on.
I won't know how to look at someone else without wishing he were Asher. I'll always compare.
Staying friends will only make things worse.
Already my world without him won't be the same. It'll be less less colorful and not as exciting. Much more depressing and ordinary. But that's how it's supposed to be.
I was never meant to go to that interview.
"Asher," I sigh. "I don't think I can be friends with you."
"Good," he sighs. "Me either."
"Okay."
I didn't think it was going to be that easy for him, but... fine.
There's that word.
Fine.
Show me someone who says they're fine in a good way and I'll prove you otherwise.
No one who says fine is ever actually good.
"The other day... I couldn't handle seeing you walk away," he sighs. There's a vulnerable tone in his voice I don't often hear. "Elle, I want more with you. I want it all."
Two days ago I would have been thrilled.
Tonight I don't respond.
"I'm gonna video you. Pick up."
Before I can say otherwise he hangs up.
I hesitate when I see his face pop up.
Then I answer.
It gives me pleasure seeing the dark circles under his eyes, his messed up hair, and the frown lines. "You look as bad as I feel," I mumble.
"I feel worse than I look."
"This is a bad idea. You were right to say we needed to stay friends, and it was fun but-."
"I can't let you go that easily."
"It's only because I walked out yesterday. You didn't finish with me so you're into the chase."
"Finish with you?" He huffs. "I haven't even started with you yet."
"I can't let you ruin your movie, or make the hold you have over me worse."
"What about the hold you already have over me?"
I shake my head.
"Asher, you'll feel a few butterflies and then flee."
"If you're insinuating I'm scared you're wrong. I've already been there. Examined and dissected it. I'm long past it. My feelings are real."
"I don't believe you."
"Sounds to me like you're deflecting. It sounds to me like you're afraid. Is it because I made you second guess your trust in me? Or is it because you're-"
"I'm not scared." I roll my eyes. "Learning to live without you would be one of the bravest things I'd be forcing myself to doing."
"Following your heart is one of the bravest things you can do."
"Is that a verse from one of your new songs?"
"No. Jesus."
"I gave out chances before. Look what it did to me."
"You're my best friend, Elle. I was trying to protect you- keep you out of the craziness."
"I don’t need protection."
"The media is cruel."
"Not as cruel as you."
"That hurts."
"Then you're starting to get how I feel."
"I’ve never done any of this shit before so cut me some slack."
"You mean apologize?"
"I mean an actual relationship."
"And what would that entail for you?"
"Anything you want."
"You don't mean that."
"Try me."
"For starters no living with an ex. Real or fake. I don't do contracts. No games. I'm either with someone or I'm not."
"I understand."
"Understanding and doing are two different things. You made me feel like an idiot. Besides, you have a movie to promote and a new album coming out. I won't ask you to-"
"Then I'll ask you. One more chance."
"Asher," I hesitate.
"Please."
"No matter how much I want this to work it doesn't seem like it would. I’m a nobody. Maybe it's time we both stop pretending otherwise."
"Elle," he fathoms. "You’re my somebody."
Damn he's good.
Damn my crumbling walls.
I lick my lips and think.
He holds my gaze.
"I expect honesty."
"Absolutely!" His eyes widen like he can't believe it. "Give me a few days. I promise I will come up with something. I'll make it happen."
I have no doubts about that. He's Asher Montgomery. He can do anything he damn well pleases. The problem is, what happens when he no longer wants this to happen?