Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
"Is it because of your boyfriend?"
"No, I uh... I broke up with Travis.”
His mouth creases. He leans in. For a second I think he’s going to kiss me again, but then this annoyed sort of expression crosses his face. “Alright," he runs his fingers through his hair. "I don’t want this to come off the wrong way...” I look down as he takes my hand. His thumbs rub my palms in a soothing pattern. The gesture is definitely not friendly. "I didn't ask you to break up with your boyfriend."
I pull away.
Shit.
My disdain is obvious. I'm ready to leave and never look back. I feel like a total fool.
Before I can do anything though his hand shoots up, locking me in place. I have no choice but to look at him.
"Not that I'm not happy you did," he continues. "You deserve better than him, but..." he shakes his head, searching.
Why is he hesitating? It's supposed to be easy for him to be the asshole, isn't it?
“I can't get involved in anything right now.” His expression is pained, and nervous, and likely mimics mine. But why is he so upset? “Shite, this is coming out horribly,” he pulls at his hair. "Elle you're-"
"Okay," I stop him. I can't bear to hear the rest.
I knew it.
I fucking knew it!
The Elle you're great but...
"What did you ever even see in me?" I hiss.
I deserve at least some sort of explanation.
He doesn't have to think about it. A small smile teases the corners of his lips as he speaks. "Beauty. Adventure. Longing. You had a smart remark to everything I said. It felt like you saw me. You challenged me."
"It's not complicated, Asher. You either want me or you don't."
"My life is extremely complex."
"You're not a brain surgeon. You're giving yourself far more credit than you deserve."
His eyes soften in an amused sort of way. "Know that I want you, okay? Isn't that obvious?"
"I'm not really the casual type of girl. If I'm in something I'm in it."
"I know."
"Really?" I challenge. "And yet you still wanted me? For what? To prove a point?"
He shakes his head. "No... want. Not wanted."
"I don't understand."
He groans.
"This isn't me. Coming back just to see some girl, who quite frankly more often than not drives me insane."
"Sorry to be such a burden," I mumble.
"Yes!" he agrees. I shoot him an evil glare. "That's the problem! Every second I spend with you I like you even more," he sighs. "It is a burden! So you would think I would just get rid of the problem. Cut all ties... but I dunno," he shrugs. "I can't."
"Grow up."
"Yeah, that's part of it too. You deserve better than what I can offer. Elle," he lets out a deep sigh, "in more ways than not I'm just like your shitty boyfriend-"
"Ex-boyfriend."
"Regardless, if we were to be anything more than friends it would have to be in secret, and Elle, you should never be anyone's secret. Not even mine."
"I don't know if I can be just friends with you. Not anymore."
"Me either," he agrees. "But we can try, right?"
"I-"
"How about we pretend we never kissed."
Yeah, because that's so easy.
I cross my arms, taking him in.
Huh.
Okay I call bullshit.
"And what about that?"
He follows my stare to the tent in his pants. "Do you always get so hard for all your friends?"
"Fucking hell," he pinches the top of his nose. "Okay," he says like it's settled, "one more kiss and then just friends. You can even help take care of it, if you want. I'd appreciate if you would."
The. Fucking. Audacity.
"Who said I even want to kiss you again, let alone-"
He bites his lip with a laugh while tugging at mine with this thumb.
“Elle, I'm fucking hard. I haven't fucked anyone in over a month. I got out of the third Sunbitten movie. Your text was helpful with the guys. I’m working on setting up a meeting with them. Elle, I'm trying to be a better person. Because of you I'm taking steps in the right direction. You broke up with your shitty boyfriend. We deserve a little celebration, don't you think? I came all the way here just to see you.”
"Yeah to say thanks for the kiss and I love being your friend."
"Was I not clear on how fucked up my life is? Or how badly I wish things were different? Trust me, I wish you could be mine."
"I'm open to hearing more about that last part. I'm also not touching you."
"Fine," he slowly nods, licking his lips, thinking. Then he pulls back. He places his hands in front of him like he surrenders. No more kissing. "Where’s your favorite spot in all of New York City?"
I give him a look, but he just raises his eyebrows, waiting for my answer.
“Um, probably the Met."
He nods.
"But it’s fine. It's always crowded,” I warn. “And anyway it's late so I think it’s closed by now.”