Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
In fact, by the evening he’s unknowingly inspired me to do the same.
The pretend life with Asher I've concocted in my head isn’t at all real, and lets face it: It will never come to fruition. It’s still eye opening. It's ridiculous to stay with Travis just because he’s someone I’ve gotten used to. I’ve grown accustom to our life, and the apartment in which I could never afford on my own. None of which are good enough reasons to stay with someone I don't like. Asher was right there, I deserve better. I want more. I want to feel all the things I don’t feel when I’m with Travis.
By the time I get home it’s settled: I’m going to break up with him.
I'm sitting at what we consider the kitchen table. It's as tiny as a side table with two folding mismatched chairs because that's all that'll fit in this small space. I stand when he enters. He went out with his work friends so he's in a good mood, until he sees me.
We’re face to face. He wears his typical scowl. This suddenly doesn't seem as easy as I made it out to be in my office.
Don’t back out now. You can do this.
He places his keys on the counter and his bag on the floor.
"Hey."
“I want to move.”
He senses something is wrong and for a second his eyes soften. I'm reminded of the guy I initially fell for. Then he disappears.
“No.” His tone says it’s his final answer. There's no discussion to be had.
"I-"
“I like my life as is. Including my current living situation.”
His words are controlling and selfish. Another thing I’ve grown accustom to and accepted over time.
I clear my throat and start again, following him into the bedroom. He removes his tie and gets his computer. God forbid he doesn't stare at a screen for more than five minutes. He may combust.
“I meant I should go. Alone.” I hate how I hesitate like I'm unsure. I'm one thousand percent certain.
“Why would you do that?” he’s focused on his laptop now and not taking me seriously.
I step closer.
“I’m not sure this is working out… that we’re working out.”
I suddenly realize I have no idea how to break up with someone.
I'm the nice girl.
In a rare turn of events he closes his computer's lid. I wonder if he’s actually willing to talk or if he’s just hiding whatever he's looking at because I came too close.
The fact that I even think that further proves the relationship is dead.
The fighting and arguing - that stuff’s all okay. It’s when you stop caring the real issues begin. Asher told me that. He said he wants to fight with the person he’s with, and I get that now.
“I told you, I’m not perfect,” Travis lets out an obnoxious sigh. “You’ve forgiven me. We've moved on.”
“I’m not sure that I have.” I nervously twist my fingers.
“That’s your problem then.” He stands with a huff and slams the door.
Real mature.
I take his spot on the bed and place my head in my hands. I know I’m going to end up sleeping on the couch tonight.
How can two people be on such different pages and why has it taken me so long to see it?
The next day I cry during my entire lunch-long therapy session.
I feel stuck.
I need a mental break.
Everyone is buzzing when I return, which is a strange change of vibe.
Apparently Asher is going to be on Good Morning California tomorrow to talk about his big mysterious Tweet that his reps will neither confirm or deny.
I rush to my computer. I can't believe in the span of an hour I missed this!
Then I check my phone.
Sadly I remain call, text, and socially free.
“Want to grab dinner?” The next thing I know Sam’s head pops over my cubicle and I realize it's nearly six.
Crap I've done nothing all afternoon but stare at my phone.
It's not like I'm eager to get back to my apartment so I agree. I grab my stuff and call Jess as we head out.
She picks up on the second ring and squeals in my ear so loudly I think they hear it all the way in Brooklyn.
At first I think she's shocked I finally reached out. I've been a bad friend. But it's not that. The news of Asher's appearance has spread like wildfire.
“What. The. Hell.” My jaw hits the floor as I follow Sam into Jess’s apartment. I’m holding a hot pizza, unsure of where to step next. Now I really feel like a horrible best friend for not hanging out. I've been so busy going through my own shit that I've barely even reached out since returning from Barbados.
“I know, I know,” she hustles us in. Then she starts quickly stacking her books in a somewhat orderly fashion so we don’t trip over them.