Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65192 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65192 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Sam: Oh, come on. Look at the situation from her point of view. She was treated like shit at her last job, even though she was outperforming everyone else on her team, and she’s no dummy. She knows they would have fired her if she hadn’t quit first. Why would she be feeling confident in her abilities right now?
Jack: I had some shit clients when I was first starting out. That didn’t stop me from going out and finding better clients, who appreciated everything I have to offer.
Sam: You’re also a white dude in a white-dude job with white dudes all around you. You fit in and fit the mold with your work culture. Jess doesn’t. She was the only woman working in design at Brain Chill, and one of the only Asian Americans on the creative team. She was marginalized from the beginning and treated like garbage. Some of the stories she told me last night over dinner made me want to hack every one of those bastards and fill their hard drive with career-destroying viruses. Expecting people to stay upbeat and confident after going through shit like that is heartless, man. Seriously.
Jack: Valid. And I see your point. So maybe—MAYBE—I can see some justification for keeping her in the dark about the true origin of the job offer, at least for a little while. That honestly still doesn’t sit well with me, but I can admit that maybe I’m not in a position to judge what’s best for a potential hire who’s been through the things that Jess has been through. But that doesn’t excuse bedroom secrets. Bedroom secrets are never a good idea. That’s a recipe for betrayal. And personally, I can’t think of anything worse than being betrayed by the first person you sleep with. That’s just going to build a legacy of mistrust and negatively impact her chances of establishing solid connections with other people down the road.
Sam: Not if I never tell her the truth. If I vow to take this secret to the grave.
Jack: Never is a long time to lie to someone you care about. And what if you two end up making it for the long haul? I’m not a big believer in happily ever after, but it does happen. Occasionally. Sounds like it would be just this girl’s luck for her happily ever after to come along in a guy who’s determined to keep a secret from her for their entire lives.
Sam: Fuck. You’re right.
Jack: I usually am.
Sam: Shit, fine. I’ll tell her as soon as she gets home from visiting her family. She’ll be back Monday night. I don’t want to drop a bomb on her now, right before she has to go tell her parents she lost her job. That’s already enough stress for any only child.
Jack: Good. I’m proud of you. And in the meantime, if you want to talk through the wisdom of this shady job offer again over coffee, let me know. Work is hairy this week, but I always have time for a caffeine break with a friend in need.
Sam: Thanks. Will do.
Jack: And assuming she’s still speaking to you by Friday, feel free to bring her to the picnic. When it comes to creepy clowns and carnival games, the more the merrier.
Sam: Thanks. I appreciate you, Jack.
Jack: As you should. I’m an excellent friend and grew your portfolio by an obscene margin in the past eighteen months. I’m basically a god and should you decide to start referring to me as Jack, God of my Portfolio, I would not object.
Shooting over a laughing emoji and one with cash symbols for eyes, I toss my phone onto the mattress and do my best to make peace with my decision.
But my stomach still feels sour, and my chest is full of guilt worms.
I feel guilty about keeping secrets from Jess, but I’ll also feel guilty about telling her the truth. I don’t want to add to her bad-feelings plate, not when she has so much on there already.
I love her parents—they’re firm, but kind, and pretty funny once you get to know them—but they put way too much pressure on her. It’s like they don’t trust her to make good decisions or…any decisions. Especially her mother. She’s always hovering, worrying, trying to control things that aren’t hers to control. I know she means well, but the end result of all her fretting has been to make Jess doubt her instincts and be terrified of making mistakes.
But mistakes—and failure—are part of life.
We all fuck up, and we all fail. The only people who don’t are people who play it so safe, they aren’t really living at all.
And that’s not Jess. If she tried to be that person, it would break her in some fundamental way and dim the fire that makes her so special.