Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 114247 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114247 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
I nodded, then looked to my brother and my adviser. “Is there anything else?”
They both nodded, but flashing a look to Judah, Brother Luke stood awkwardly and left the room. I suddenly found myself alone with Judah in the office. Judah sighed and got to his feet. “What is wrong, Cain? You have been quiet recently.”
I glanced outside of the floor-to-ceiling windows and sank farther into my seat. “I do not know. I feel 'off'. I feel like I can never get a sermon correct. I feel like our people are losing faith in me. And I feel like the battle that must be waged with the Hangmen is impossible. One Chechen contract does not seem like enough.” I stared at Judah and said, “I lived with the Hangmen for five years. I know how far their reach goes, and I know how many contracts they have. One Chechen deal is like hitting a lion with a plastic arrow—it will anger them, but it will not kill. In fact, it is the person shooting the arrow who stands to be torn apart.”
Judah walked beside me and laid his hand on my shoulder. “But we have the Lord on our side. And the Lord’s message lives within you.”
“I have yet to receive a message from God. Uncle David received them directly. God spoke to him as you do me now, but I myself have had no word, no contact.”
“It will come,” Judah soothed. “You are new, the commune is still being developed. God will speak to you when we are ready to receive a commandment.”
Running a hand down my face, I forced a smile. “You’re right.”
“Judah’s wide smile was infectious. Then he stepped backwards. “Come, I have something that will make you happy.”
I got to my feet and followed Judah into the living room. A stack of DVD cases were piled up on the coffee table standing before the sofa’s. Judah motioned for me to sit. I did as he asked.
Judah walked into the hallway and came back with a TV on a cart. I frowned. “Judah, what is this? You know we shun technology.”
He stopped and said, “Then how else am I to show you these. And the Lord would not disapprove, it is right that you see these videos. You need to relax more and stop over-thinking your duties. Jesus had Mary Magdalene to soothe him when his message and ministry became too much, you need someone to do the same.”
An image of Mae immediately sprung to mind, and for once, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to remember her black hair, her pale skin and those ice blue eyes that would smile at me when they lay upon me.
I remembered us sitting on the sofa in my room, her head laying on my shoulder as she slept. I had never felt anything like it before. Or since. I was convinced no one else would ever measure up.
The feeling of the sofa dipping beside me snapped me from my thoughts. Judah sat beside me. He was holding the remote in his hands, the TV screen was fuzzy, waiting to show me whatever Judah had brought.
“What is this, brother?” I asked. Judah’s happy grin spread back on his face.
“Your choices,” Judah answered cryptically, and pressed ‘play’ on the remote. At first I did not know what I was looking at, it was outside, somewhere in the commune. The amateur-looking tape then cut to a cream wall, perhaps the wall of the people’s accommodations?
I motioned to Judah with my hand, about to ask him to explain what this was, when suddenly the image of child came onto the screen. She couldn’t have been more than eight years old. But that wasn’t what had me fighting back nausea. No, it belonged to the fact that she was naked, but for flowered garlands in her hair. And she was dancing. Dancing to some tinny sounding seductive music playing in the background. And she was shaking. Her tiny body was shaking as a voice—that I recognized as Brother Luke’s—told her to dance for her Prophet. The girl tried to move to the beat, but fear made her movements jerky and out of time.
My chest tightened so much that it rendered me unable to speak. Then Judah elbowed me in my side. I glanced to my left to see my brother watching the screen, his teeth grazing over his bottom lip.
He was a stranger to me at that moment.
“What do you think, brother? You could take her as a wife, or a consort. She is about to reach the age of her awakening.
“Her awakening?” I questioned.
Judah nodded his head and paused the video, the frozen screenshot landing on the little girl’s face. Her terrified face, her eyes wide and face pale.
“Brother Luke has taught me all about Uncle David’s ways. And one is a female’s awakening. The day she becomes a woman in the eyes of our faith, a vessel for our men’s celestial meditations.”
This time vomit did creep to my throat, but I pushed it down to rasp. “There is nothing of that in our scriptures.”
“Our uncle talked of new revelations by the Lord in his sermons to the people. Not everything was recorded officially, just in his private letters, therefore it did not reach us in Utah.” Judah sat forward, excitement radiating from his body. “There is so much we did not know. So much I am learning from Brother Luke, and the other disciples. The Lord has blessed us with much, Cain. More than I ever expected.”
Judah flicked on the screen and that awful music began playing, but I could not look up.
“If the last was not to your pleasing, there are many more. How about this one?” I looked up to see an older girl, more developed, dancing seductively. And unlike the small child, her eyes were confident, her bare body moving slowly to the beat. She could not have been more than fourteen.
Fourteen.
A child.
Judah began flicking through the DVD, tens and tens of naked children dancing for the camera. And the more images came on the screen, the more excited Judah became. I could see him shift on his seat as his eyes bored into the screen.