Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 134133 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 671(@200wpm)___ 537(@250wpm)___ 447(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 134133 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 671(@200wpm)___ 537(@250wpm)___ 447(@300wpm)
His lips quirk. “Sure. Unique is the word I think we decided to use,” he adds with a wink.
I shoot him a look, but I still feel awkward. It occurs to me that it’s absurd that he feels perfectly comfortable kidnapping me, yet I feel awkward bringing up the anti-social qualities of his behavior.
“And you said you’re not usually like that with other girls you’ve dated.”
“No.”
“But I feel like, while I get that maybe I have different qualities that triggered different behaviors, I couldn’t have created them, you know? Those impulses must have already been alive inside you. And while I’m not in your head so I can’t know for sure, it doesn’t seem like anything you’ve been remotely surprised by or conflicted over, so it doesn’t feel like this is the first time they’ve emerged. I’m not calling you a liar or anything,” I add quickly, before he takes it the wrong way. “But if I’m not the first girl you’ve felt this way toward… if there have been others… I’d like to know how it ended with them so I can form a better idea of what to expect.”
He's silent for so long, I’m not sure he’s going to answer me. His palms are braced on the island, his jaw locked and his shoulders tense.
I feel immensely awkward and think about trying to walk it back, but before I can land on anything, he finally speaks.
“Sophie, I don’t know how I could possibly be clearer about my intentions.”
“I understand your intentions. Everybody starts out with good intentions. Well, maybe not everybody, but mostly everybody. Intentions aren’t reliable predictors of the future. The past is, so I’m just wondering if there are any possible roadmaps you’ve already traveled that I could have a look at.”
“Okay, you’re right. Intentions don’t mean shit, but actions do,” he states, looking over at me. “Where in my actions could you have possibly found a corner to peel up to convince yourself I’m unreliable and I’m going to bail on you at some point? I have gone far outside the lines of legality and morality to lock you down. I feel like I’ve proven how much I want you.”
“I know, but it’s all still very new. You’ve only recently acquired me, so I wouldn’t expect your passions to cool yet. I’m wondering what comes next now that you have me.”
He stares at me. “Now, I enjoy having your crazy little ass.”
I bite down on my lip to stifle a smile at his annoyance. “Right. But after that.”
He stares at me for another moment, then he takes out his cell phone. I frown but wait for him to finish texting. Then, he grabs the chicken and puts it in the fridge. He turns the stovetop off.
“What are you doing?” I ask. “We need to make dinner.”
“No, we don’t. I have servants and an inheritance so large I could buy a small country if I wanted one. You don’t have to lift a goddamn finger to do anything ever again if you don’t want to. I’m not indulging your self-sufficient bullshit tonight.”
My jaw drops. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” He grabs my wrist and hauls me out of the kitchen. “I want to make a few things very clear. First, it isn’t your fault I zeroed in on you. It’s not your fault guys like Dylan or your professor did, either. Belief in a just world is a fairytale that people tell themselves so they can feel safer. ‘That could never happen to me because I wouldn’t do the things she did.’ It’s self-soothing bullshit for people who can’t cope with reality. The world isn’t just. Bad things can happen to anyone, and you can’t always protect yourself. There are much worse fates than being vulnerable to hurt, Sophie. Being hurtable does not mean there’s something wrong with you, and having something bad happen to you is not an indictment of your inability to protect yourself.” He stops in the hall to look back at me. “There is nothing you could have done to protect yourself from me. There is nothing you did wrong to catch my attention. If you would have dropped out of school Monday morning and moved away, I would have hired an entire team of people to find you. If you would have gone underground, I would have razed the city and searched the rubble until I had located you. I’m glad you’ve bent as much as you have because I prefer your happiness, but not having you was not an option. If you had fought me tooth and nail at every turn, I wouldn’t have given up and released you, I would just put you in smaller and smaller cages until you eventually gave up. These aren’t healthy impulses. I know that. But I don’t care. I feel a certainty when it comes to you that I wish I could share with you because if you could step inside my mind for a single minute, you would never again doubt my devotion to you. I’m not going anywhere, Sophie. Whether you believe it or not, that’s the truth. It’s okay if you don’t trust it yet. It annoys me because I don’t understand why you think you’re so easy to leave, but time will show you I mean what I say. I adore you. I worship every cell of your being. I will never let you go. This feels like too ordinary a phrase to even bother saying, but I love you, Sophie, and I always will. There are no roadmaps I can show you to ease your mind because I’ve never traveled this road before, and I never will again. You’re it for me. You’re my path. There is no alternate route.”