Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72727 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72727 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
“I didn’t think,” Asher said. “I didn’t know.”
“Well, I do. I’ve had it happen all my life and I hate it. I hate having them look at me, hate having them touch me.”
Asher nodded and held Daniel close. “Shhh,” he said until Daniel stopped trembling.
Eventually, he pulled back and met Asher’s gaze. “It’s not what I want,” he said. “They’re not what I want.
“And John Oaks?” Asher asked
Daniel furrowed his brow. “What about John?”
“Do you want him? The way he was touching you—” Asher frowned at the memory and shook his head. “Rob Yearling too. They had their hands all over you, kept calling you some nickname I’d never heard. Made me nuts.”
Daniel’s expression softened with understanding. He rubbed his palm over Asher’s cheek. “They’re my initials. Daniel Owens Tover. I use them with the band stuff instead of my name because it’s easier to keep my anonymity that way, so they started calling me Dot. There’s nothing intimate about it. And John’s straight. He’s just a touchy guy. Rob—” Daniel pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. “Rob’s… clueless. I don’t have any interest in either of them, not that way. Never have. And the feeling’s mutual.”
“I’m sorry I freaked out,” Asher said. “The way they looked at you… and then when I heard them asking you to go on tour with them, I thought you’d do it.” He dropped his gaze and lowered his voice. “I thought you were going to leave me.”
“I walked away from that life more than ten years ago, Ash.” Daniel sounded frustrated. “We started playing together when we were kids, barely out of high school. One of my mother’s exes is Eric’s dad, and he had a buddy who worked for a record company. We had a good time, but when I realized that it wasn’t just fun for the other guys, that they wanted to make it big and tour the world, I told the record company guy to kiss my ass and—”
“Not unless he wants to start walking with a limp,” Asher growled.
Daniel scoffed. “Right, because the only way a guy is allowed to touch me is when you give me away. Is that it?”
Asher’s whole body jerked.
“I’m sorry,” Daniel said right away. “I didn’t mean—”
“No,” Asher said, shaking his head. “Don’t be sorry. I deserved that.” He sighed. “The water’s getting cold and I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in long enough that falling over seems like a real possibility. Can we finish this conversation in bed?”
It didn’t take long to dry off, brush teeth, and crawl under the crisp, clean sheets. Daniel automatically curled into Asher’s side, and Asher sighed in pleasure and held him close, pushing his damp hair out of his face and kissing his forehead.
“I don’t have any excuse for what I did at the Lounge that night,” Asher finally said. “None. When I’ve thought back about it, which I’ve done over and over since you left, it’s almost like I can’t believe it really happened. I see a guy look at you and I want to punch his teeth out. Making you strip in front of a room full of people and then sending you to….” Asher shook his head, unable to complete the sentence. “No excuse. And I know this isn’t the first time we’ve had a conversation like this, this isn’t the first time I’ve fucked up. I want to tell you that I’ll stop being so possessive, that I’ll never be jealous like that again, but—”
“You’d better not stop!” Daniel said, his eyes blazing.
“Huh?”
Daniel blushed. He dropped his gaze. “I left because you sent me off with that guy, like it didn’t matter to you if someone else fucked me.” Daniel swallowed thickly. “Hurt,” he finally rasped out.
And Asher understood then, really understood what Daniel needed and how it meshed so well with his own needs. No whips or ropes or props or pain. He wanted to own the man in his arms, and Daniel wanted to belong to him. Yin and yang. When that had been threatened, Asher broke and Daniel ran.
“You told me once that all you ever wanted was to be needed,” Asher said. “Well, I need you.” He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “I need to know that you belong to me. And when I felt like that was being challenged, when I thought I was going to lose you, I just… I lost it. Please forgive me.”
“I do need you,” Daniel said desperately. “Need you so much.” He pressed his lips to Asher’s and mumbled into his mouth, “Only you.”
Asher nodded. “I know.” He shuddered. “And fuck, do I ever love that.” He ran his hand over Daniel’s ribs and belly. “You’ve lost weight and you didn’t have any to spare.”
Daniel sniffled, blinked back tears, and smiled. “Nobody was making me protein drinks every morning and hand-feeding me dinner every night.”