Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 76647 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76647 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry, I just… once you’ve seen what happens behind the curtain, the magic is gone.”
His eyes bore into me, and I couldn’t quite understand why he was still here, discussing this. It seemed to me that he either should’ve started to see my point of view by now or else he should’ve dismissed me and walked away. But instead, he said, “What if someone could bring the magic back for you?”
“Like who, an actor old enough to be my father?”
“I was thinking of someone closer to your own age. Someone who likes you and cares about you.”
My jaw dropped, but I recovered quickly, realizing I should’ve seen this coming. “Even if you think I’m misguided, it’s not your job to prove me wrong.”
“Fair enough,” he said easily. “But what if I want to kiss you?”
Skepticism filled me. “So, you just happen to want to kiss me right after we had this conversation?”
“If you recall, the conversation started because I tried to kiss you—I think that’s pretty strong proof that I want to.”
“That’s because we were caught up in the moment, both of us happy about our good news.”
“Exactly,” Tristan said, though I didn’t see how that confirmed his point. “I was excited about my news and thrilled about yours, and I wanted to kiss you. Or do you really think my thought process was: hey, we’ve both had good news, so I’m going to initiate the sequence that may eventually lead to orgasm?”
In spite of myself, I laughed. “Okay, no, I didn’t think that.”
“Then why is it so hard to believe I wanted to kiss you?”
“Because you’ve been indoctrinated. Everyone has. In real life, how many times do people spontaneously kiss?”
“Well, certainly not today. Not so far, anyway. But hey, if Hollywood or the Kissing Lobby has indoctrinated me, then I want to deprogram myself.”
“Now you’re making fun of me.”
“Just trying to lighten the mood a little.” He stood, and for a moment, he stared into the remains of last night’s fire. Then he let out a huff of air and came over to the sofa, sitting a foot or two away from me. “The truth is, Sierra, this conversation is depressing as hell.”
Hurt filled me as I hugged my knees and looked away from him. But then he put his hand on my arm.
“I hate that you’ve had such bad experiences, and I hate that it’s made you feel this way.”
“I’m fine. I like my life the way it is.”
“But maybe it could be better.”
I turned toward him but scooted my back against the arm rest. “Who are you to judge that?”
He held up his hands in surrender. “You’re right, that’s not my place. But I think you’re wrong about kissing, and I’m allowed to think that because I’ve had many amazing kisses. Not because they were epic or Hollywood style, but because I enjoyed the hell out of them. You rightly said I shouldn’t judge your life—are you willing to accept I might be speaking the truth?”
“Your truth,” I said.
“Exactly. It was my experience and my interpretation of how it felt. That’s how it works. If you’ve never felt anything from a kiss—and that’s understandable given how many of them have been staged—that’s your truth. But that doesn’t mean that’s how you’ll feel forever.”
“So… you want to kiss me so that you can prove me wrong?”
“I want to kiss you because I want to kiss you. You’re a beautiful woman, Sierra. You can’t deny that. But what’s more, I like you.”
Conflicting emotions flooded my mind. His words touched me more than I wanted to admit. I was used to people discussing my looks. I was less used to people who seemed to like me for more than that. Tristan wasn’t shallow—far from it. But he wasn’t doing this just because he liked me. “You feel sorry for me.”
“I do,” he said honestly. “You’ve been robbed of the opportunity to experience something amazing. But I didn’t know that before and I wanted to kiss you—and I still do now.”
I crossed my ankles and squeezed my legs together, trying to think. I’d kissed actors I didn’t care about. It was part of my job. If I could do that, then kissing a friend shouldn’t be a big deal… but wouldn’t Tristan be disappointed when I failed to experience the magic he wanted me to feel? “It just doesn’t do anything for me.” Maybe he was right—maybe in some circumstances, it thrilled other people. But I doubted I’d ever be in that camp.
“If you still say that afterwards, I’ll never ask again.”
It was ludicrous. Our earlier excitement had faded. The moment had long passed, and I’d bummed him out with my views on the topic. Yet, he leaned forward, his gaze alternating between my eyes… and my lips. “Okay.”
The light in his eyes didn’t make sense. All I’d said was one word—that shouldn’t be enough to affect him. It was that damn indoctrination. It was like Zeus whenever he heard a bag crinkle, he thought he’d get a treat. With people, whenever they thought they were about to kiss, they anticipated hormones and endorphins and sugar and spice and everything nice.